


A Different Sort of Life

by Burningchaos



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe, Community: harlequin_sga, Kid Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-11-10
Updated: 2013-12-07
Packaged: 2018-01-03 21:18:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 22,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1073157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Burningchaos/pseuds/Burningchaos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Rodney’s sister dies he finds himself the reluctant guardian to his thirteen-year-old nephew, Trent. Rodney is at a loss but tries his best, only to have his nephew constantly getting into trouble in school. John Sheppard is a math teacher at Trent’s new school, and at a parent teacher conference meets Rodney. Together the two men learn more about themselves, parenthood and unconditional love then they ever expected.</p><p>Thanks to Drow and Seekergeek for the beta</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**A Different Sort of Life**  
Burningchaos  
Stargate Atlantis  
Sheppard/McKay  
Rated M for language and sexual content  
No warnings, no spoilers  
Will be Sheppard/McKay in later chapters  
Written for the harlequin challenge  
Disclaimer, not mine and sadly never will be.  
Summary: When Rodney’s sister dies he finds himself the reluctant guardian to his thirteen-year-old nephew, Trent. Rodney is at a loss but tries his best, only to have his nephew constantly getting into trouble in school. John Sheppard is a math teacher at Trent’s new school, and at a parent teacher conference meets Rodney. Together the two men learn more about themselves, parenthood and unconditional love then they ever expected.

**Thanks once again to Laura and Jess for being my beta’s. You both rock. So any mistakes left are my own.**

**Chapter 1**   


Radek Zelenka stared at his friend of six years, who was muttering, hunched over his laptop pounding away at it with the ever present cup of coffee at his side; Rodney McKay did make an imposing figure. He had an air of cultivated disinterest that few bothered to look past. In fact, as far as Radek knew, only he and Carson had ever looked past the biting exterior to find the stalwart friend that existed inside.

Walking into his friend’s office he looked around, there were no overtly personal items on the walls and shelves. In fact the only thing that was on the walls other then charts were Rodney’s diplomas and various awards he had received over the years.

Radek looked down at the letter he was holding, other then scientific journals and work correspondence, Rodney never received mail. This made the personal letter he was now holding that much more intriguing and distressing. Radek had a feeling that things were about to change; he attributed that sinking feeling of foreboding to the gypsy blood on his mother’s side. Something that often came in direct conflict with his scientific nature. Having put off the interruption as long as possible he stared at his friend a moment longer, “Rodney,” a hand waved him off. “Rodney, you have letter.” Radek raised his voice a bit.

Rodney didn’t look up as Radek spoke; he had to get this finished. He was so close he could taste it. “Yes just put it on my desk.” Rodney stared at the problem in front of him. It was off still, not by much but…

“Rodney, it is from lawyer in America, it looks important.” It was thick, which to Radek meant bad news…

“America, where?” Rodney looked up as he reached out to take it. Glancing down he saw that it was from a firm called Weir and Emmagan out of Lynchburg Virginia, “Huh, all right.” Rodney was puzzled as he looked at the letter, he had never heard from them before and he didn’t know anyone in Virginia. In fact other then Air Force personal he came in contact with from time to time he didn’t really know anyone in the states anymore. Rodney saved his work quickly and ripped opened the letter. As he read he felt his mouth go dry, his hands began to shake and he swayed in his seat.

Radek watched his friend go pasty white and saw a look of horror pass over his face as he began to slide from his chair. Rushing up to grab him, Radek cursed his gypsy blood. “What is it? What says letter?”

“My sister and her husband died six months ago, and they had a son. He is thirteen from what this says. Apparently Jeannie made me his legal guardian in the event of her and …” Rodney looked down at the letter frantically, “Jeff’s death.” Panic raced through him, he didn’t know anything about children, not to mention teenagers. He hadn’t even seen his sister in, uh, fourteen years. She was thirty-five, so that meant she had gotten pregnant not long after Rodney left. He hadn’t spoken to her since the day he walked out. “I didn’t even know she had a child.” Rodney looked around his office and felt a sense of loss more profound then the one for the sister he had never truly known. This office was his whole life, or at least had been until now.

*~*

Three weeks later Rodney stood outside the offices of Weir and Emmagan. The harsh noise of the city was still startling, the pollen filled air and bright sunlight only served to remind him how much he hated being outside. Rodney glanced down at the suit he was wearing, he was meeting Trent at some point today and wanted to look, well… he wasn’t sure how he wanted to look and that made him almost as nervous as meeting his nephew. Sighing dejectedly he walked up the steps into the cool office and gave the secretary his name. He was announced and almost immediately greeted by a lovely and exotic looking woman with long dark hair and deep brown eyes.

“Doctor McKay, I am Teyla Emmagan. I am the executor of Mr. and Mrs. Philips will.” She reached out a hand, which he took quickly. “I am sorry for your loss and the length of time it took us to contact you.” She gestured for him to follow her down a hallway that directed him into a richly colored and extremely comfortable looking office. “Please sit, there are several things for you to sign before I can take you to meet Trent.”

Rodney paused a moment, he felt low for even asking but he had too. “There isn’t anyone else who can take him? My work is very important. I am working on an extremely sensitive top-secret government project. I have no experience or time to raise a child.” He saw a frown forming on Ms. Emmagan’s face as he spoke. “Look, I didn’t ask for this, I barely knew my sister, I didn’t know her husband and I certainly didn’t know they had a son they were going to leave me with. So don’t stare down your nose at me, you don’t know me or anything about me. If you did you would know I am in no way capable of taking care of a child.”

Teyla knew fear when she saw it, it was radiating off the man in front of her. She couldn’t help but wonder what had caused him to be so closed off. “Doctor McKay, I am sorry, there is no one else if you do not take him in he will go back into foster care. I have to say that the system isn’t going to work for him either. In the last three weeks alone he has been shuffled to six different homes.” Rodney felt as though he had been punched again, six in three weeks.

Rodney sat back troubled; he had no idea how to fit Trent into his life. He had no idea what to do in general. If he took Trent he would be giving up his dream. Rodney was a selfish man he knew that and he was far from being afraid of admitting it. He had worked his entire adult life toward one goal and he was a hair’s breadth away from achieving it. If he took Trent he would have a hollow victory. He would never be able to go. He would be stranded on the planet unable to do anything but watch his dreams being achieved by other, lesser, men. Who, though, would give Trent even a fraction of what he had achieved? If he didn’t have a stable environment, Rodney almost snorted at the thought of him being able to give this, would he ever even have his own dreams? Rodney wanted to choke, he wanted to do anything but what he was about to do. He braced himself, “I’ll take him.”

Teyla smiled, she had seen the play of emotions running across the very expressive face of the man before her. She had seen how hard this was and she only hoped he was up to the challenge. “I need these forms filled out, while you do that I’ll go get Trent.” Rodney nodded and looked over everything she had given him. The forms blurred and he remembered the multitude of forms he had signed to get back to the states. Now he needed to see about accepting and finalizing the transfer to Colorado he had been offered. He needed to send for his things. God he would need to find an apartment and schools and …Rodney knew he was panicking, which was cool really, because it was something he was good at. He pulled himself together and signed everything, taking note of the college fund and several things in place for Trent. Rodney didn’t need the money, but it was nice to know that Jeannie and her husband had at least done something right.

~*~

Trent slapped his SP shut, he was bored. These games took five seconds to beat. Hell, he could make a better one in his sleep. Trent unfolded his lanky frame from the chair he was sitting in and wandered around the room. He was tall for thirteen; he knew that because he towered over the kids his age. He went to the window and wondered if his uncle had shown. He had never met him, sure he had seen his picture but that was it. His mom had always gone on about how smart he was, she’d always told him he was a lot like his uncle. Trent tried not to think of her or the sound of the tires squealing, he tried not to hear his father yelling and his mom crying, or how he had woken on the ground, in the rain. He bit back a sob as the door opened. Stealing himself for a return to the foster home he turned and slapped a sneer on his face.

“Trent, you uncle is here now,” Ms. Emmagan was pretty; he couldn’t help but think it every time he saw her. She smiled at him. “He is going to take you with him today, so let’s grab your bags and you can go meet him.”

Trent swallowed hard; a small ball of terror was building in his stomach. “Sure, whatever.” He leaned down and grabbed his pack then walked out the door.

Teyla shook her head; those two were in for an interesting ride. She just hoped they would make it.

Trent stood at the door looking at the tired rumpled man in an ill-fitting suit. Huh, not what he was expecting, not at all. He was a genius his mother said, it was like a chant, a sacred litany as she spoke of him. The man sitting in front of him looked unassuming and well, dull. Trent restrained a snicker; this was going to be a cakewalk. “Trent, this is your Uncle, Doctor Rodney McKay, Doctor McKay, your nephew, Trent Philips.” Rodney stood and reached out a hand, Trent eyed him then took it. He was surprised to find it so firm.

Rodney froze, Trent looked like Jeanie. Dirty blonde hair, deep blue eyes, tall, lanky and freckles spread across his nose. He hadn’t thought about those freckles in ages. He had taunted her about them night and day for years. In that second he suddenly felt the loss that, until now, hadn’t really sunk in. Rodney hadn’t realized how much he had loved his little sister. Now it was too late to make amends, too late to tell her. Not too late for Trent though. “Hello, I have to say I am at a loss here, I have no clue what to say. Which, you should remember this, because I always have something to say.” Rodney stopped, he knew he was babbling. “So are you ready? We have a plane to catch and I don’t want to miss it.”

Trent stilled. “A plane?”

“Yes, we are going to be living in Colorado Springs. I will be working at the base there.” Trent frowned hard. Great a new uncle, a new house, a new state and a new school.

Yeah, this was going to be fun.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Rodney’s sister dies he finds himself the reluctant guardian to his thirteen-year-old nephew, Trent. Rodney is at a loss but tries his best, only to have his nephew constantly getting into trouble in school. John Sheppard is a math teacher at Trent’s new school, and at a parent teacher conference meets Rodney. Together the two men learn more about themselves, parenthood and unconditional love then they ever expected.

Rodney groaned as the phone rang. It was becoming tiresome and more then a little irritating. He missed the cold silent halls of Siberia and the Antarctic. Once again closing out his work, he leaned over to pick up the phone, and with exasperation he didn’t care to disguise said, ”Hello.”

“Doctor McKay?” Rodney sighed, he knew that voice; he had become very familiar with it in the last two weeks.

“Mr. Bates, what can I do for you?” It wasn’t as if Rodney didn’t already know.

“I am sorry to say Trent was caught skipping again. This is the third time this week and if you don’t take this matter in hand there is going to be a serious problem.”

Rodney rested his head on his desk; they had been here two weeks. Just two weeks and Rodney felt as if he had descended into the seventh level of hell. Trent blocked his every effort to talk, he was silent, sullen, always walking around with bruised eyes and a foul mouth, he was snipping about everything. He was skipping school and getting into fights, already Rodney had been called to the school several times. He wanted to get Trent into therapy, but he had no idea how to get him to go. In fact, as unappealing as the idea was he needed to be there too. He needed to learn how to talk to the kid.

“I’ll be in as soon as I can, I assume that Mr. Grodin will want to speak to me also?” Rodney waited, hoping he wouldn’t have to suffer another conversation about his lack of parental control.

“Yes, Dr. McKay that is exactly what they want.” Oh this was just so not any fun, another parent teacher conference. If his sister weren’t already dead he would kill her.

“I’ll be there in an hour,” Rodney looked at his laptop longingly. He was so behind and now needed to see the general. Once again he had to explain why he was leaving early, not to mention why he hadn’t made any progress. 'Two weeks,' he thought, it already felt like a year.

“Excellent, I’ll let them know you will be here.” Bates hung up and Rodney sat there listening to the emptiness on the other end. He was so lost. He hung up and gathered his belongings then headed in to see General Hammond.

He passed several people in the halls some serious, some happy. He just felt detached. Before all this happened he wouldn’t have cared, now he wanted nothing more than one, just one person to confide in. He was being an idiot, and that was something he knew he wasn’t. He hated children with good reason, everything he was experiencing was a very good example why. He had to find a way to get Trent to behave and right now torture was looking like a really good option.

~*~

Trent slouched in his chair and stared sullenly at Bates, he still couldn’t believe that ape had caught him. He was so looking forward to having the “you are too smart for this” conversation again. He was getting tired of it and his uncle really, really sucked at it, Trent sighed, he missed his mother. He swiped his hand across his eyes and sniffed. He refused to sit here and cry like a girl. It wasn’t going to change anything.

Trent watched Bates leave and gabbed his bag, “You’re not skipping out again are you?” He flinched at the sound of Mr. Sheppard’s voice. Where the hell had he come from anyway?

“No.” Trent glared at him as he chuckled.

“Sure you weren’t.” John sat and watched the boy. Trent was without a doubt the smartest kid he had met in years, but he refused to work and half the time didn’t even show up. The kid was bleeding out in front of him. He could see it in everything the boy did. John remembered how it felt when he lost his mother. Sure his dad was still around, physically but emotionally he had died when his mother had. This kid, John couldn’t get his mind off him. He saw himself when he looked at Trent, if it hadn’t been for Mr. Herman, his teacher in ninth, he would have never survived.

“Look, Trent, I am sure you have heard this a thousand times already but I just want you to know my door is always open. Always. You can come talk to me about anything you want. Alright?” John watched Trent’s eyes widen then narrow, as if he was trying to figure out the angle, what the catch was. “No catch, I promise.” John saw the shock play across the kid’s face. Direct hit.

Trent opened his mouth when he heard his uncle yelling as he walked into the office. He turned and almost smiled. His uncle could rant and ‘man’, his comments, Trent took mental notes every time. He couldn’t wait to use some of the remarks.

Rodney opened the door, he was pissed now. Hammond had been sympathetic and had felt the need to lecture Rodney on parental duties and skills, which in turn had lead to being given a week off to straighten out his life, so to speak. What was he going to do with a week off? He had work to do, he was already behind schedule and he was so sick of this office. “So, can you explain to me why it is so hard to keep track of one kid? Really, Mr. Bates, isn’t it your job to make sure he doesn’t escape at the start of the day?” Rodney sighed dramatically. “Seriously, I have important work to do. I can’t keep running over here every time you fail to do your job.”

Bates turned red at the implications. “What…” but was unable to finish.

“Mr. Bates, maybe you should let me handle this?” Bates swung around and looked at Grodin, he frowned, nodded tersely than turned to leave. Grodin turned back to Rodney and pasted a smile on his face. “Doctor McKay, thank you for coming.”

“Yes, well, it wasn’t like I was given a choice, was I?” Rodney crossed his arms over his chest.

Peter Grodin considered himself to be a man with patience; after all he ran a school. He handled hormonal girls, boys smoking and masturbating in the locker rooms, but Dr. Rodney McKay, he couldn’t handle; five minutes in an office with McKay was enough reason for any sane man to want to commit homicide. Thankfully today he wasn’t going to be alone. “Mr. Sheppard has asked to join us if you don’t mind. I’ll just...”

Rodney sat and began to tap his foot. “Look, I am here and I have a nephew to ground and feed. Not necessarily in that order, but still you are taking…” Rodney paused mid-sentence as a tall, tan, dark-haired man with the most incredible green eyes walked in. He looked the man up and down as he forgot what he was saying. His eyes wandered up again and he took notice of the hair. It was wild, messy and Rodney being who he was said the first thing that came to mind. “Oh God, is that alive? It looks alive. I think it may have moved!” Rodney’s face was pale as he looked toward John.

John looked frantically behind him, and seeing nothing, asked “Is what alive?”

Rodney had his hand out then pulled it back. “Your hair. That is hair, right?” Peter choked on his coffee as Rodney spoke.

John frowned, his eyes narrowing with displeasure as his hand automatically reached up. “Of course it is my hair!” John paused and Rodney swears the man is pouting, “Does it look bad?”

“Well, if you are going for the homeless, I haven’t washed in days chic, then no.” Rodney moved to pat Grodin on the back as he choked. “You are supposed to swallow the coffee. My God, you are in charge? You can’t even respect a cup of coffee!” Rodney stalked towards the door. “Trent, get in here and tell the nice,” Rodney snorted as he says this, “men you will be here on time everyday from now on and you will stay.”

Trent peered around the door, desperately trying to keep a straight face. “Why?”

“Because if you don’t, I will do things to you that they haven’t made laws to prevent.” Trent paled, his uncle had that look on his face, the one that kinda scared him.

“Um, yes, Uncle Rodney, anything you say.”

“Good, lets go.”

He grabbed Trent’s bag and started out the door, only to be stopped “Wait, Dr. McKay, don’t you want to know why I wanted to see you?” Rodney turned around to see Mr. Hair talking to him.

“Oh yes, let’s enlighten the genius shall we? What is it then? More bad grades and missed homework?”

“No, it is your nephew’s test scores.” John smiled as Rodney stopped. He had him.

 


	3. A Different Sort of Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Rodney’s sister dies he finds himself the reluctant guardian to his thirteen-year-old nephew, Trent. Rodney is at a loss but tries his best, only to have his nephew constantly getting into trouble in school. John Sheppard is a math teacher at Trent’s new school, and at a parent teacher conference meets Rodney. Together the two men learn more about themselves, parenthood and unconditional love then they ever expected.
> 
>  
> 
> All information regarding IQ societies came from http://www.eskimo.com/~miyaguch/history.html

Rodney watched his nephew pale at his teacher’s words and curiosity demanded that he find out why Trent was so afraid. He turned back to the man. “What was your name again?” It wasn’t as if he’d paid attention the first time around.

John smiled; he had Rodney’s attention now so it was safe to be gracious. He could even ignore the insult to his hair. John moved closer and held out his hand. “John Sheppard, I am Trent’s math teacher.”

Rodney’s eyes narrowed, he knew that name but it was skittering around the edges of his mind and he couldn’t grab it. Rodney shook his hand, “ So what do I need to know?”

“Have a seat, Trent you can come in too if you like.” Trent walked into the room hesitantly and sat next to his uncle.

“Mr. Grodin and I went over Trent’s test scores when he was enrolled, and we both agreed he is an extremely bright young man. In fact we thought the test scores might be lower then they should be, so we retested Trent. He out scored every child in the school, Dr. McKay. Trent has an I.Q. that is over 200.”

Rodney snorted and sat back. “Well, yes, it would be he has a genius for an uncle. Hello I.Q. of 250 here.” Rodney grinned at Sheppard and Grodin’s reactions. “I would have expected nothing less of my nephew.”

Sheppard cleared his throat. “Trent answers questions that my Advanced Placement math class can’t, and with frightening ease I might add. Yet he fails to turn his own homework, he fails his tests and he refuses to participate in class. Not to mention all the fights, verbal attacks and over all crappy disposition, which now that I have met you I get. Still, though, Trent can do more then he is and I think we need to do something about this.”

 

Rodney was fuming; he hated being put on the spot like this. He was tired of all the not so subtle hints that he was failing his nephew. It hadn’t even been a fucking month. “So what? He hates you all. And he's rebelling. It's normal for a child his age. I mean, I built an atom bomb when I was younger than him. Besides, what exactly can a public schoolteacher like you expect to do to challenge a kid like Trent?” Rodney turned toward his wayward nephew once. “Come on, I am sure there are better schools than this in, oh, almost anywhere.”

He grabbed Trent’s shoulder but was once again stopped by Sheppard’s voice. “Trust me, I can challenge him, as a member of Prometheus I am sure I can figure something out.”

Rodney froze, he suddenly knew exactly who John was, not to mention the man’s IQ was higher then his own, which stung. He had dropped off the intellectual radar when his son had been killed in a hit and run accident three years ago. He had left his think tank and all his research behind. He was so famous that even in Siberia Rodney had heard of him. And he was here and Rodney had yelled at him. Panic was a small word compared to what Rodney was feeling in this exact moment. He felt his mind doing a rapid back track, skittering along the conversation and wondering if he could get out of having been such an ass. Sighing nope, no way. “Well then, what exactly is your plan?”

**  
Trent had been told to leave halfway through the meeting and he was relived. He loved being talked about like he wasn’t in the room. Plus now his Uncle was foaming at the mouth over his teacher. Ew…he so didn’t need the trauma. He’d known his uncle was gay. Mom told him a long time ago but to see him in action. Yeah, and he was told he needed therapy before. But it was kinda cool, really. It showed his uncle wasn’t as much of a tight ass as he seemed…Trent back tracked at that thought, so the wrong phrase there and shuddered.

Trent liked Mr. Sheppard; he was nice and not condescending like the other teacher’s. He was quiet, and noticed things; Trent liked that. It was like Mr. Sheppard could really see him. He wondered if talking to him would make him feel better. Trent thought he could trust him. He wanted to trust the older man.

His uncle Rodney tried, but every time they talked his uncle looked at him with bruised, guilty eyes. It was more then Trent could stand.

This wasn’t supposed to be his life. He was supposed to grow up and have his dad teach him how to drive. His parents were supposed to do the ' _Not_ Talk About Sex' thing with him. He wanted them to see him graduate, but it wasn’t going to happen no matter how much he wanted it.

Trent leaned against the brick wall and closed his eyes; once again the sickening crunch of metal on metal, the grinding and his parent’s screams came flooding back. He slid down the wall while fighting the tears, he was so tired and, god, it just hurt. He laid his head back against the wall and silently sat waiting for whatever happens next. It couldn’t make anything worse then it already was.

~*~

They had been talking in circles for twenty minutes now and Rodney was more frustrated then ever. “You know what, just do what ever you want to. You are _obviously_ more qualified then I am. But you know, I have been an Uncle and pseudo– parent for all of two weeks now. I don’t really give a damn if you think I suck at it. I would have been perfectly happy locked in my little office till the world ended. But I am not, I am here, and I am doing the best I know how to.” Rodney paced and waved his hands around to emphasize his point. He was so fucking sick of this. This wasn’t supposed to be his life. This wasn’t even close to what he’d planned and imagined.

He really had no clue, none whatsoever on how to get to Trent. Suddenly deflated he sat back down heavily and stared at Grodin and Sheppard. Grodin was wide-eyed and in way over his head. Rodney could tell half the stuff they had been ranting about he didn’t understand at all.

“You know, I am going to go look for Trent,” Grodin stood as he spoke and headed toward the door. “You both have another ten minutes to figure this out.”

John looked at Rodney; he hadn’t meant to imply that he was doing a bad job. Well not really. He stared at his hands for a moment searching for the right words. “I’m sorry, that isn’t how I wanted to come off. I just…I know where Trent is coming from. I lost both my parents by the time I was 16. I…” John shrugged. “I like Trent, he is a nice young man and I want to help. So please let me?”

John smiled a funny half smile that cut right through Rodney. He suddenly wanted to get to know this man in front of him. It was a pull so powerful it was like gravity. Rodney returned the smile with one of his own. “You know, it is fine, really. I would appreciate any and all help you want to give. I…god this is hard…fully admit to how utterly clueless I am. So, yes…” John smiled a smile that lit up the entire room and Rodney knew in that second, much like he knew when he read the lawyer’s letter, his life was in for another change.

 


	4. A Different Sort of Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Rodney’s sister dies he finds himself the reluctant guardian to his thirteen-year-old nephew, Trent. Rodney is at a loss but tries his best, only to have his nephew constantly getting into trouble in school. John Sheppard is a math teacher at Trent’s new school, and at a parent teacher conference meets Rodney. Together the two men learn more about themselves, parenthood and unconditional love then they ever expected.

Trent fought for control. With one hand he wiped at the tears burning his eyes and with the other he his wiped his nose on his sleeve. He struggled to his feet as he heard footsteps and voices heading toward him. He didn’t want anyone to be see him this way. It always lead to questions and he was so sick of being asked how he felt. His parents just died, he was living with a stranger, and how the fuck did they think he felt? It was killing him; his grief was burning a hole in his stomach. He knew… he just knew it was going to break him. He was going to fight it every step of the way, because how he felt and his guilt were his own.

He tilted his head toward the increasingly loud voices. He could hear his uncle and Mr. Sheppard. They weren’t fighting anymore; in fact they were talking about dinner. Trent repressed a snort. He schooled his features into the ‘I am fucking bored as hell can we go now’ look and leaned against the lockers.

“Uncle Rodney, can we go? I am starving and now.” He gave his uncle a dirty look. “I have homework to do; since I want to live and like all my parts.” Sullen wasn’t exactly the tome he’d been aiming for but it worked.

Rodney laughed. “Yes we can go eat now, and just remember how attached you are to those parts. If I get dragged here one more time and have to deal with that Neanderthal Bates; I will make you wish you were never born.”

John watched the exchange. The pain, awkwardness and lack of trust were almost visible. There was affection but it was shaky. They needed to find something that forged a connection; something more then just being related. He could see them both bleeding, and for different reasons. Rodney was struggling with all he had given up to be there for Trent. Trent, on the other hand, was just trying to keep his head above water. John had to give Rodney a lot of credit; he wasn’t bitter, though he could have been.

“So what do you say to some pizza? I know I am starving too.”

Rodney looked startled for a moment. John had mentioned dinner, but he hadn’t thought the man had meant now. He pushed it off when he saw the half-smile form on his nephew’s face. “Pizza it is than.”

~*~

Rodney watched Trent smile and laugh as he and John talked about football and video games. Seeing Trent smile was wonderful, but it left a lingering hollowness inside him because of the simple fact that he wasn’t able to produce that same look of carefree joy.

“Oh please! The 360 will come out and blow everything out of the water. Of course, till PS3 comes on the market. That’s only if you like to buy commercial.” Trent had the condescending tone that all teens seemed to be able to pull off with the drop of a hat.

John frowned, puzzlement covering his handsome face. “What do you mean buying commercial?”

“Some genius you are,.” Rodney snorted as Trent spoke whilst shaking his head sadly. “Really, Mr. ‘I am a mathematical wizard’ Sheppard, can’t figure out how to make his own gaming system?” Rodney began to beam as he saw the same look he threw at the idiots in the lab cross his nephews face. Oh yes, the boy had great genes.

Sheppard grinned, “Oh, well now, I never said I couldn’t.” John shrugged. “There just isn’t a point till they start making better games. I mean Halo 2 is great and all, but after I finished my _‘home’_ creation; the colors and graphics looked like they belonged on a Atari game.” Rodney felt warmth pool in his stomach; smug was a stunning look for John.

Trent threw his head back and laughed, a real laugh. “Mr. Sheppard, you rock.”

“That’s good right?” He looked at Rodney his green eyes sparkling, “I hope that is good.”

Rodney took another sip of his coffee, as he put his plate off to the side. “As wonderful as this has been, and might I add the pizza here is delicious, we have to get home. Someone has several weeks of homework to catch up on.”

Trent groaned, “Yeah, Uncle Rodney, that will take about five minutes so…”

“Trent…” Rodney used the stern tone he had been practicing; it was amazingly hard to get it down; sarcastic was so much easier. Rodney took a deep breath, “I know it is easy, but that is besides the point. I am sure once you prove your mettle Mr. Sheppard will be more then happy to give you more challenging work.”

“Your uncle is right, I will but you need to catch up on all your back work first.” John interjected as he winked at Rodney, “And I think I have asked you to call me John several times now.” His smile was light and easy.

“Yes, yes, I will…John. There! Are you happy now?” Rodney grinned sardonically as he grabbed the bill and headed off to pay.

Trent watched Mr. Sheppard watch his uncle. He had thought his teacher was straight. After all he had seen the way the older man flirted with the school counselor Ms. H…something. “So harder work, huh? It had better not be the crap you have the AP kids doing. I can sleepwalk through that.”

“Nope, you will like what I have in mind. So quick question before your uncle comes back.” John watched Trent nod before he continued, “Your uncle is he...”

“What? Single? Yes he is.” Trent grinned evilly as John sputtered.

“Single, why would I want to know…wait, your uncle is gay? No never mind, I didn’t ask that so don’t tell me.” John shook his head, why would he want to know if Rodney was gay. Wait did that mean Trent thought he was gay? Pushing that subject off to another time, “No, I was going to ask you if the two of you were getting along alright. I know living with him is a huge adjustment for the both of you and I wanted to know if it was working out so far.”

The panic that had crossed Mr. Sheppard’s face had amused him. It made Trent wonder if his teacher didn’t subconsciously find his uncle attractive in some way. He had never played matchmaker before, but not having experience in an area had never stopped him before, so why should it now? He liked Mr. Sheppard and he made his uncle smile a bit; which was hard because his uncle’s face seemed to be frozen in a frown, pissed or mocking expression. “Yeah, we do okay. He misses his old job, but he isn’t mean about it.” Trent rushed to put that in. He didn’t want it to seem as if his uncle resented him. “Sometimes he gets moody and snaps, but it is cool. He thinks like I do and…well he tries really hard. I just wish he would quit asking if I am alright all the time. You know?”

John did know. Michael’s death, the funeral, and his ex-wife’s attempted suicide; it was a question he knew all too well. He had dreaded it and always had to restrain himself from flinching whenever asked. “Yeah, I know. I know.” He reached out and ruffled Trent’s bangs as he said it.

Rodney was walking back to the table and saw Trent frown as he spoke. He had a hard time getting Trent to sit still long enough to have even the smallest of conversations. Rodney knew he was a horrible uncle, he couldn’t cook, hated doing laundry and desperately needed a maid because there was no way he was cleaning up after hurricane Trent. He didn’t want to lose Trent, though. Sure, it was a huge change and…damn he really liked that kid. No, he loved the kid. He was going to make this work. He just needed to get the kid to sit and talk to him. Be friends with him, because there was no way an uncle could even begin to replace parents.

“Trent, why don’t you head out to the car while I ask Mr…er…John a question.” Rodney handed Trent the keys and smiled reassuringly, he hoped.

“Sure,” Trent grabbed his bags and headed out.

Rodney sat down again and waited till he was sure Trent couldn’t hear them. “Look I know I am bad at this whole raising a teenager thing. I never wanted kids in fact I hated them. The thing is, though, Trent is mine now whether I wanted him or not. Which, strangely, I do now. You offered to help, so if you meant it I am asking, and might I add I am asking nicely. Something that doesn’t happen often.”

“You have plans for this weekend?” John watched Trent open the door and walk out as he spoke.

“What, um no, just working. Why?” Rodney frowned, as he answered not understanding what that had to do with getting parenting help. He also couldn’t help the small flutter he felt in his stomach as John asked about his plans. He knew it wasn’t about him, it wasn’t about a date either. It was about Trent and Rodney was going to have to get used to being around John.

“There are basketball tryouts Saturday afternoon and I thought it would be a good way for Trent to make friends. Bates coaches, though, so you might want to stay clear of him after this afternoon.” John suppressed a laugh. “Plus, while they are doing their thing, we can go get lunch and talk.”

“All right. What time?” Rodney stood and shrugged on his jacket and headed for the door.

“They start at eleven,” John stood, grabbed his jacket too, following Rodney outside.

“Eleven, then, alright I…we will see you then. Um, have a good night.”

John watched Rodney get into his car and tell Trent to turn the music down. He couldn’t help but feel a little bit lonely as they left. This had been the most fun he had had in over a year.

 


	5. A Different Sort of Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Rodney’s sister dies he finds himself the reluctant guardian to his thirteen-year-old nephew, Trent. Rodney is at a loss but tries his best, only to have his nephew constantly getting into trouble in school. John Sheppard is a math teacher at Trent’s new school, and meets Rodney at a parent teacher conference. Together the two men learn more about themselves, parenthood and unconditional love then they ever expected.

Rodney sighed in relief as Trent exited the car. He quickly reached over and turned off the god-awful noise his nephew called music. He was quite convinced that it was some new form of torture. Rodney knew that if parenthood didn’t kill him then the music would. Two hours, he was going to be with John for two hours, alone, during which he would have to restrain himself from staring and saying anything inappropriate to the obviously heterosexual man he had the misfortune to be attracted to.

“Hey, Rodney,” The sound of John’s voice startled him and he let out a sound that was decidedly yelp like. “Sorry, Rodney, I thought you saw me.” John’s voice dropped and held a hint of contrition.

Rodney closed his eyes and tried not to think about the increasingly painful headache that ripping a path through his head. He didn’t need this now. He groaned softly as John climbed into the car. “Please, oh god, please tell me you have ibuprofen?” He didn’t even look at John as he spoke; he just pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes.

“Rodney?” John turned toward him and put hand on his shoulder. “Are you alright?”

“No, I am far from alright. My nephew is obviously an assassin sent to destroy me, after breaking my sprit and ear drums.” Rodney tried for snark but his tone had slid more toward whine than he would have liked. His voice echoed through his head.

“Migraine?” John was concerned now as he saw Rodney nod tersely. “Why don’t you let me drive, I live around the block. I can get you some ibuprofen and an icepack, ok?”

“Are you sure you don’t mind?” Rodney felt his stomach lurch as he spoke. Wonderful, the nausea had decided to kick in too.

“Yeah, I am sure, my wife used to have migraines so I am an old pro at this. Slide over while I walk around.” Rodney didn’t even open his eyes as he did what John said, it was just nice to have someone concerned enough to even try to take care of him. He had to admit, though, even as shitty as he felt the wife comment got to him. It was good because it reminded him of John’s heterosexuality.

John was silent on the drive, and when he stopped the car he put his sunglasses in Rodney’s hand. “Here put these on ‘till we get inside.” John came around and opened his door leaving Rodney feeling irritatingly helpless. He slowly slid out and as he walked he felt John’s hand on his shoulder, it was then he realized he was actually swaying as he walked. John opened the door. “Come on, you need to lay down.” He led him back to his bedroom, pulled back the covers and took off his shoes. “I’ll be  
right back.”

The room was dark and cool, and as Rodney lay down he felt less nauseous. Just as he closed his eyes John was back, “Here,” pushing a glass of water and a few pills into his hands. After taking them Rodney closed his eyes again, only to be shocked as John laid the icepack across his forehead. “Rest, if you fall asleep I’ll go get Trent for you.”

Rodney murmured as quietly as possible, “Thank you, John.”

“You’re welcome,” was whispered back while the door softly closed.

~*~

John peeked into his room an hour later and saw Rodney had thrown his arm over his eyes in his sleep displacing the icepack. He heard a soft snore, smiled and left.

He couldn’t even imagine the stress the scientist was under. New job, new apartment, becoming a parent to a teen, it was no wonder the man was getting migraines. John snorted; they probably weren’t even eating good meals.

He walked over to the shelf that held his son’s picture and as always felt the swift knife of grief cut through him. Michael had been his life, cheerful, smart, loving and funny. He was always smiling and laughing. The picture had been taken three days before he died, they had been at the park with Jess’s parents and it had been the last truly happy moment in his life. It had been a cascade of pain since his son’s death, the funeral, the divorce, Jess’s first attempted suicide, and then recently her successful one. John didn’t understand why Trent was affecting him but he smiled more, and strangely he felt happier than he had in a very long time. It wasn’t even as if Trent was close to his son’s age. Michael would have been nine last month, that day had been hell. John had called into work, just as he had the two years before and had sat watching home movies of his son. He knew that it wasn’t healthy, it was as far from it as you could get, but he would rather watch his son alive and happy than go to the cemetery. John’s watch beeped. Damn, he had been standing here almost an hour, he swiped his hand over his face and grabbed Rodney’s keys. Trent would be waiting.

~*~

Trent stood outside with two of the boys he had met and made the team with. They were fairly new to the school too, which immediately gave them something in common. They were still outsiders too. He joked around with them and made small talk while he looked around for his uncle, but didn’t see him yet, figures.

“Hey, Mr. Sheppard,” yelled some girl as she walked by. Trent turned around and smiled. He liked his teacher more than he had expected, and he was fairly sure his uncle did too. He found out a lot about his teacher today, though, like how his kid and ex-wife died. Now Trent understood how the man knew how he felt. He had lost everyone in his life too. Well, Trent had his uncle but sometimes…

“Trent,” John nodded to the other boys, “Nick, Tom, did you boys make the team?”

“Yeah, we did, thanks Mr. Sheppard. Oh, hey,” Nick turned back toward them, “My mom is here. See ya Monday.” Nick waved as he trotted off.

“So, Mr. Sheppard what’cha doin here?” Tom scanned the parking lot as he spoke.

“I was checking up on my favorite juvenile delinquent.” John grinned as he messed up Tom’s hair. Trent watched the by-play with jealousy; he wished he could be like that still. Sure, Mr. Sheppard made him laugh a bit, but...

“Aw, man, Mr. Sheppard. It was homecoming. I had to TP the locker room. It’s like a tradition.” Tom laughed as he playfully punched Trent in the arm. “Seriously, it was worth the three days detention.”

“Tom, you worry me.” John laughed, and turned when he heard a horn beep. “I think that’s your mom. I’ll see you Monday.”

“Later,” Tom grinned as he ran toward his mother’s car. Trent watched and once again felt jealous. He should be with his mom, not his uncle. He should have had his dad practicing his jump shot with him last night, be he didn’t and never would again.

“Hey, Trent.” John laid a hand on his shoulder. “ Let’s go get a burger and than we’ll go get your uncle.”

“Why? Where is he?” A cold ball of panic beat furiously inside Trent’s chest. Hi uncle wasn’t much but…

“Oh, hey, he is fine. I didn’t mean to worry you.” John frowned. “He had a headache, a migraine really, and since I live around the corner I took him to my house and he fell asleep.” John directed him toward his uncle’s car.

“He’s fine, though, right?” Trent hated the way his voice sounded, how little and afraid.

“Yeah, he is. So come on I bet you are hungry after all that running around.”

~*~

John watched Trent devour his burger, milkshake and fries like he was starving, but he was thirteen so he probably was.

“Why didn’t you just drive Uncle Rodney home?” Trent asked around his fries.

“First, yuck, seeing your food is not high on my list of things to do today.” John shuddered and was glad he had finished eating before they’d left. “Second, my house was closer.”

Trent looked guilty for about five seconds, before he looked out the window. “You like my uncle, don’t you?”

“Yeah, he is nice. Why?” John was puzzled. Sometimes, even though he taught teens, it was like they were speaking in code.

“Uncle Rodney, nice?” Trent almost choked as he said it.

“He is a nice guy, funny too.”

“So, you _like_ him then?” This time John got it; the tone was so obvious.

“Hey, whoa, that isn’t at all what I meant, not to mention rude and none of your business.” John felt more defensive than he should have, but he couldn’t understand why Trent was assuming that. And twice now.

“Oh, well I was just checking. I mean, you’re looking after me and everything, while my uncle is hurting. So.” Trent trailed off and shrugged.

“Trent, looking after you has nothing to do with that. I like you too, despite the fact you are scrawny and almost to ugly to take out in public.” John looked toward Trent for a second; the teen’s face was unreadable. His attempt to lighten the mood had fallen flat. “Besides I didn’t know if there was anyone to call.”

“Well, there is Sam, but she and my uncle fight a lot. They work together, oh, and I met Jack and Daniel last night. My uncle asked them to come over so Jack could help me practice.” John heard the dip in Trent’s voice and he understood why. That was what his dad would have done, except his dad wasn’t there. “Jack is funny, and Daniel is even geekier that you and my uncle.” Trent forced a laugh.

“Hey, I resemble that remark,” John pulled a fake pout and slightly offended tone. “So they work with Rodney too?” He was more curious about Rodney’s circle of friends then he should be, but he passed it off as concern for Trent’s well being.

“Yeah, they do. Jack is a Colonel and Daniel; well I don’t know what he does. Jack is retiring, though; they were all talking about it last night. They were talking really quietly, like they didn’t want me to know.” Trent laughed sarcastically, “Like I couldn’t figure out they were a couple. I mean they aren’t exactly subtle.”

“Well that’s good.” John felt strange again, and it disturbed him that strange was the best word he could find to explain what he was feeling. “Here we are,” he said as the pulled into the driveway. “Let’s go see how Rodney is doing?” John got out of the car and missed Trent’s mischievous smile.


	6. A Different Sort of Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Rodney’s sister dies, he finds himself the reluctant guardian to his thirteen-year-old nephew, Trent. Rodney is at a loss but tries his best, only to have his nephew constantly getting into trouble in school. John Sheppard is a math teacher at Trent’s new school, and meets Rodney at a parent teacher conference. Together the two men learn more about themselves, parenthood, and unconditional love then they ever expected.

Trent sighed as he flopped down on the couch, his gaze following John into what he assumed was the bedroom. Everyone thought teenagers were stupid and that meant adults were always underestimating them. He hated that, but he wasn’t an idiot. Uncle Rodney was obvious and John had been tossing odd slightly interested looks at his uncle too. Trent was sure John was concerned about him, but not as concerned as John was about his uncle Rodney. So if he put that evidence with the looks…that meant what? They liked each other. He firmly believed in the C.S.I quote ‘the evidence never lies’, so that meant they must. He just needed to find a way to get his uncle and John together.

How though? Sure, he was a genius, but he was only thirteen. He knew nothing about relationships. Hell, at this point, breasts were just starting to look good. Other than that small fact, girls were still pretty much to be avoided at all cost. So, how was he supposed to get two grown men together? There was also the 'eww' factor to consider, because one, it was his uncle and teacher and two…well, they were men. And he didn’t want to think about that too closely.

~*~

John quietly entered his bedroom and saw Rodney was still sleeping. He had shifted down in his sleep and now only the top of his head was visible from where John was standing. He stepped closer to the bed. Rodney was sleeping soundly, and he was reluctant to wake him up. However, Trent needed to be considered. He was already worried about his uncle. Letting Rodney continue to sleep might make Trent think there was something more wrong with his uncle than a simple migraine.

John smiled when he realized that Rodney was snoring. It was cute… John froze. Where had that come from? His smile wavered as he tried to process that thought for a moment, only to decide that Trent’s comments must be getting to him.

Reaching out, he gently touched Rodney’s shoulder. “Rodney.” The other man groaned and tried to roll over. “Rodney, we’re back. You need to wake up.”

Rodney grunted and rubbed his hands over his face before opening his eyes. For a moment, John thought there was something wrong as Rodney glanced around the room. “Oh, god, please tell me you have coffee.”

“You know, all that caffeine can trigger migraines. You should lay off it for a bit.”

“You can’t be serious!” Rodney sounded appalled. “Do you know what will happen? I have drunk twenty plus cups of coffee a day since I was fifteen. I am an addict. If I stop drinking it…you know what? Stopping would be idiocy. I probably have coffee running through my veins by now.”

Disbelief coursed through John. No wonder Rodney was always wired. “Twenty cups a day?”

Rodney slowly stood, as if he were checking to see how the movement would affect him. He offered John an unapologetic smile. “At least.” He arched his back, wincing as it cracked several times, then let his hands meet behind his neck as he yawned. John couldn’t help but notice the sliver of stomach revealed as his friend continued to stretch his arms over his head. John glanced sideways, once again wondering what was wrong with him.

Rodney straightened his shirt before he glanced at his wrist. Finding it bare, he started to look around frantically for a clock. “Damn. What time is it?”

“Don’t worry. I picked Trent up and fed him. That kid has a hollow leg. He ate three cheese burgers, and a large fry.” John chuckled as he spoke. “Oh, and a large chocolate shake.”

“Seriously? Did he talk with his mouth full? Because he does that all the time, and it's so disgusting.”

“Oh, yeah. Aren’t kids great?” Even as he said this, John realized exactly how jealous he was. It made him feel more than a little sick, because he was. He _was_ jealous, and, though he knew that Trent wasn't and would never be his son, he just missed that kind of bond. He was ashamed, too, because Rodney was his friend. How could be begrudge anyone a chance to learn what it felt like to have a child, especially one as wonderful as Trent, in their lives?

“John, are you alright?” Rodney reached out hesitantly, but drew his hand back before actually touching him. “I…I know about your son.” Rodney winced when John’s eyes met his. “I know that we barely know each other, and I have never been a father. I’m sure being an uncle for a few weeks doesn’t give me a ton of insight either, but…well...” He trailed off as if he were unsure how to finish.

John didn’t know what to say. Rodney didn’t strike him as the kind of man to offer his support lightly or possibly ever. Based on what he knew about Rodney, to this point, the man wasn’t a people person. “Rodney, I --” John sighed, “Thank you.” He didn’t really know what else to say.

Rodney looked embarrassed. He glanced away for a moment before muttering; “Anytime.”

The moment suddenly felt awkward. John latched on to an idea to diffuse it. “I fed Trent, but if you are hungry I could make you an omelet.”

Rodney averted his eyes again. He seemed shocked by John’s offer, apparently concern wasn’t something the other man was used to. “That would be great.”

~*~

Trent smiled nervously, his plan fixed firmly in his mind. He slowly gathered up his backpack and waited for the rest of the class to leave. He realized he had to be subtle, yeah, subtle. He could do that. Gathering his wits, he walked up to the desk. “Mr. Sheppard?” he asked, keeping his voice low and questioning.

John turned, studying him for a moment before he walked over to him and placing a hand on his shoulder. “Trent, is something wrong?”

“Well, kinda…” Trent said, going for the worried, slightly pathetic voice he had always used with his parents.

John sat on the corner of his desk. He looked worried, and that was exactly what Trent was aiming for. “Trent, you can always talk to me. Besides, I thought we were friends now?” John added, his voice deepening.

Trent shuffled his feet. “I know, it’s just-- I feel weird asking you this.” He hung his head, letting his too long hair fall across his face.

“Hey, just spit it out. It can’t be that bad.”

Trent knew he had John _exactly_ where he wanted him. “Ok, here is the thing. Jack and Daniel want Uncle Rodney to go on a double date with the new guy they work with. Mitchell something or other. He wants to go, because, other than hanging out with you and me, he never goes anywhere but work. Except he doesn’t want to leave me with a stranger, and Sam is on vacation with her boyfriend.” Trent looked up, giving John a slightly embarrassed look.

John nodded slowly as he realized what Trent was saying. “You want to come over to my house so he can go out on a date, right?” John said in an almost whispering voice.

Trent looked up through his bangs, pulling out the hopeful puppy eyes. They even worked on his uncle. Sometimes. “Yeah, if you don’t mind?”

 

 

“Sure. I’ll call Rodney and ask him if we can go to a game or something. I won’t even mention you asked, okay,” John said, the dejected tone of his voice matching his pale face. Trent had to suppress a smile. He had struck a cord. Big time.

“Thanks, Mr. Sheppard!” Trent left the classroom in a run, grinning from ear to ear. Damn, he was good.

John remained on his desk a moment longer, deep in thought. He had spent every weekend with Rodney and Trent for the last month and a half. Rodney had quickly become his best friend. His odd sense of humor and caustic attitude were oddly endearing. He had watched Rodney and Trent slowly breach the walls separating them and had found that he cared a great deal about both of them.

In turn, John had done the same for Rodney. He found that, other than Sam, Jack and Daniel, Rodney had very few friends. He wasn’t really that close to them either. It was the third wheel thing. At least, that was what Rodney thought because he didn’t have a partner. John liked to think it was different with them. They had gone for pizza, cheered at Trent’s basketball games, gone to the movies and just hung out in general. John had cooked dinner for them several times, and he had even managed to talk about Michael. It had been strange how easy it was to take Rodney up on his offer. What was even better was that the other man listened without ever giving him the standard ‘it is time to move on’ platitude.

A date. John couldn’t place his finger on why that bothered him so much. If Rodney had been a woman, he would almost say he was jealous. John froze, his stomach lurching as realization hit him.

He _was_ jealous.

He was jealous, and he didn’t want Rodney to go out with this Mitchell guy. What did that mean? Additionally, what was he supposed to do? John buried his face in his hands, his mind racing as he tried to figure out exactly _what_ he was feeling.

What the hell was happening to him?


	7. A Different Sort of Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Rodney’s sister dies, he finds himself the reluctant guardian to his thirteen-year-old nephew, Trent. Rodney is at a loss but tries his best, only to have his nephew constantly getting into trouble in school. John Sheppard is a math teacher at Trent’s new school, and meets Rodney at a parent teacher conference. Together the two men learn more about themselves, parenthood, and unconditional love then they ever expected.

How did he get himself into these things? It wasn’t bad enough he was infatuated with his straight best friend, now he had to suffer through a blind date. Rodney nervously buttoned up his blue shirt and hoped he didn’t look like an escapee from the circus. If he did, it would certainly reflect how he was feeling. He still couldn’t believe he’d let Daniel wrangle him into to this. Blind dates were not his strong point; ok dating in general wasn’t his strong point. Plus, the fact he hadn’t been on a date in years. After all, Siberia wasn’t exactly prime dating grounds.

Rodney sighed while running his hands down the front of his shirt, this was about as good as it was going to get. All he could hope for was a guy who was smart enough to have a conversation with and who knew there were more important things than looks. Yeah, cause there were just so many of those floating around these days.

He trusted Daniel, he really did. It was just that Daniel was desperate to find him someone, anyone who wasn’t John. Therein lay the problems. He wanted John. He was more than infatuated and well past crush. He spent all his free time with John, who was smart, funny, sexy and caring. John, who made him laugh and made him feel more alive then he had in years. John was also a man who would never look at him that way. Hence the date.

“Hey, Uncle Rodney, you need to get it in gear. They’ll be here soon and I need to slap my stamp of approval on your clothes.” Trent shouted down the hall. Rodney knew the little shit was mocking him. Oh well, he knew where Trent slept and payback was a bitch. Rodney grinned. He really loved that kid. It something he had never expected, but he knew he didn’t want to change it. Trent was the other reason he felt alive. He gave him purpose outside of work and showed him that he more than just a scientist. He would never win parent of the year but as long as Trent was happy he didn’t care.

“Yeah, yeah, I am coming. Did you pick up your crap off the floor?” Rodney closed his door and stumbled through Trent’s clutter. It was amazing, he hadn’t thought it was possible but Trent was even messier than he was.

“Please, you only told me like six times. I am not deaf, you know.” Trent grinned cheekily at him.

“So, you’re saying you are just ignoring me nine tenths of the time.” Rodney tried for a serious, parental tone but knew he was falling short.

Trent clutched his chest and staggered over to the couch falling back on it. “Oh, my god, you figured it out. No wonder they all say you’re a genius.”

Rodney lost it. The kid was good, he was sure that someday Trent was going to be more snarky and sarcastic than he was. He was so proud. “All right, all right. I get it, now how do I look?” He waited as Trent stood and walked around him making funny humph noises while tapping his chin. “Oh, Christ, just tell me if I need to go change.”

“Naw, you look cool.”

Rodney sighed in relief. “Good now that the inspection is over you need to get your books off the couch and get that skateboard out of the hallway before I break my neck.”

“On it, but I need the board. John is going to go over some moves with me tonight.” Trent was shoving stuff into his backpack as he spoke.

“Oh, that is just wonderful. Take and wear your helmet. It’ll save what brain cells your video games haven’t destroyed.”

“Ha, ha, that’s a good one. You are so funny. Seriously, you should try stand up.” Rodney silently shook his finger and tried not to laugh. “Beside John would never let me ride without one.” Trent looked around the living room and than reached under the coffee table to grab his helmet. “See got it right here.” He tapped it as he spoke.

A loud rap on the door cut off Rodney’s sharp retort. “Saved by the bell yet again.”

Trent made a face at him as he went to open the door. “John.” Rodney’s mouth went dry. Baggy black cargos, tight black t-shirt. Oh god, he wanted to lick his way down John’s slightly damp neck, and thread his fingers through the obviously wet hair. “Um,” He took a deep breath and stepped out of the doorway. “Come in.”

John’s dark eyes looked over him intently before stepping into the house while closing the door behind him. “You, ah, look nice.” John licked his lips as he spoke sending a fresh wave of desire zinging through Rodney’s stomach.

“Thank you.” Rodney was amazed he could think enough to say anything, especially with the way John looked tonight. He’d been sure he’d lost at least a third of his brain cells when he’d opened the door. John stepped closer to him and for a moment, it looked like he was going to say something else when Trent came into the room startling them.  
“See, I told you.”

He couldn’t breathe, not with John staring at him that way. “Told me what?”

“That you looked nice. John even thinks so, which means this Cameron guy will too ‘cause, you know…” Trent cleared his throat.

Rodney watched John shrugged his shoulders apparently he was clueless too. “You know…, well, John is straight.” Trent’s voice was low and Rodney thought he sounded slightly embarrassed. “I need to get…” Trent looked around, “something from my room.”

John was leaning back against the door trying not to laugh. “Well, Trent is definitely related to you.”

“Yeah, um, John.” Rodney looked toward the kitchen and took a deep breath. “You know if you’re… uncomfortable with this I can cancel. I mean, I know you know, but hanging out with Trent while I am, ah, out is different.” Rodney knew his nervousness and embarrassment were showing. He looked back at John, who was now too close for comfort.

“You would do that?” John seemed confused. “Why?”

“Because you…”Rodney felt a sliver of fear race through him as he raced to cover up his blunder. “I mean your friendship means a lot to me.”

“Me too.” John hesitated.

Another curt rap on the door cut off whatever John had been about to say. Rodney stepped around John and opened the door. He had expected Daniel, and this definitely wasn’t him. This guy was tall with a killer smile and wow.

“Hi, Rodney?” Cameron reached out and firmly shook his hand. “Cameron Mitchell.”

“Do you want to come in or…” This was what Rodney hated. He had no clue what to do or say.

“Hey, Uncle Rodney, is that your date?” Trent had startled him again. He was going to buy him a bell to hang around his neck. Trent stepped up to Cameron and looked him over before reaching out to shake his hand. “Trent Phillips.”

“Hey, Trent, nice to meet ya.” Cameron gave Trent a lazy, slow smile. “So what are you up to tonight?”

“He’s going with me.” John had stepped forward, they had all stepped inside, but Rodney felt crowded again. “John Sheppard.” John was terse and almost possessive as he spoke.

“Well...alright. Nice to meet you too.” Cameron dragged the words out with a distinct southern flair. “Are we ready than?”

“Yes.” Rodney looked at Trent and John before heading out and gave them a weak smile. Trent returned it with a wave and a shout of ‘have fun’ but John just stood there with his hands in his pockets, frowning.

Cameron opened his door for him, which felt strange but it was sweet at the same time. It had to be all that military training. Rodney adjusted is seatbelt as Cameron started the truck. He hated uncomfortable silences.

“So where are we…”

“What do you…”

They both spoke at the same time and started laughing. Rodney could see Cameron relaxing, and he had to admit it broke the ice just a bit.

When Cameron didn’t say anything Rodney figured it was up to him. “What are we doing tonight?” Rodney didn’t want to admit he was desperately hoping they were going someplace where they wouldn’t have to talk a lot.

“Did Daniel Call you?”

“No, no he didn’t. Why?” Rodney had a sinking feeling. Damn Daniel.

“Huh, he said he would since I didn’t have your number. But the short of it is Jack was called back to D.C and Daniel went with him since we have a long weekend.”

Rodney cursed. “I knew it. I just knew it.” He thumped his head back against the seat. The night was just getting better and better. Blind dates, no matter how hot the guy was, made him nervous. John was confusing him. Rodney had never seen his friend act that way before and his double date, was now a single.

“Hey, if you don’t want to do this I’ll understand.” Rodney felt his frustration drain away. Cameron sounded as nervous as he felt.

“So, a movie?” Rodney asked hopefully.

Cameron flashed him a toothy grin and smacked the steering wheel. “Sounds good to me.”

~*~

John watched Rodney and Cameron pull out of the driveway; his stomach was twisted into knots. He had wanted to punch Rodney’s date the second he showed up. The man’s smile, his voice, it all grated and seemed...smarmy. In fact, when Rodney offered to cancel he had almost begged him to do it. He still didn’t understand why he was feeling this way. He just knew he didn’t like Rodney going out with another guy. Not one bit. He knew he was jealous. He could admit that. But it was Rodney. A guy. He was starting to think he liked Rodney more than he should.

No, he knew he liked Rodney more than he should. Now he needed to figure what he was going to do. Everything good in his life right now had to do with either Rodney or Trent and as much as he liked Trent he wasn’t over with the two of them all the time for his young friend. That should have told him something from the start. Oh, God, what if Rodney didn’t like him that way?


	8. A Different Sort of Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Rodney’s sister dies, he finds himself the reluctant guardian to his thirteen-year-old nephew, Trent. Rodney is at a loss but tries his best, only to have his nephew constantly getting into trouble in school. John Sheppard is a math teacher at Trent’s new school, and meets Rodney at a parent teacher conference. Together the two men learn more about themselves, parenthood, and unconditional love then they ever expected.

John wanted to snarl in disgust. He couldn’t believe how upset he was. He had been up all night with the image of Rodney smiling at that jerk Cameron as if he were the guy who had invented coffee and chocolate. It was his smile, well, it was the way Rodney was supposed to smile at him…wait… it _was_ the way Rodney smiled at _him_.

His smile, as in Rodney’s smile, belonged to him. John stopped in the middle of the living room; his epiphany had stunned him. He was sliding somewhere fast and he didn’t know where he was going, let alone how to deal with it. He couldn’t understand why he wanted Rodney to like him. Hell, he couldn’t understand why he liked the other man this way.

Rodney was like gravity. He couldn’t escape the way he was feeling. And he was starting to think he didn’t want to. Immediately following that thought was the small voice in his head reminding him that he was straight. He was, but…

“Hey, coffee?” Trent’s voice startled him, giving him a much-needed distraction. John forced all internal melodrama aside and smiled as Trent walked past headed toward the kitchen. The teen’s t-shirt was askew, his boxers were nearly falling off, and his rumpled hair that made him look like he was a member of a punk band. He sniffed the air and continued to the counter with a zombie like gait while rubbing his eyes. John stifled a laugh and briefly wondered if Rodney looked like that in the mornings.

“So, how are you this morning, Sleeping Beauty?” John grinned as he headed to the kitchen for his own cup of coffee. Trent’s appearance was the perfect distraction.

“Ha, ha, ha…you are so very funny.” Trent’s tone didn’t quite reach his normal level of snark.

“Aw, are we still to sleepy for a good comeback? Because that was so not up to par.” John couldn’t help but laugh at the grumpy look the teen was shooting him.

“I know where you sleep.” Trent smiled a slow, decidedly evil grin before taking a sip of his coffee.

John smiled benignly back at the teen. “Yeah, well I know where you sleep, too.” John left the room but not before reaching out and tapping Trent on the back of his head.

“You know child abuse is a punishable offence.” Trent’s voice followed him from the room.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah whatever. It’s almost time to meet your uncle. So get your butt moving, I hate being late.

“Yeah, cause Uncle Rodney is _never_ late.” Sarcasm coated every word tumbling from the teen’s mouth.

“Just hurry up!”

~*~

John watched Rodney pull into the parking lot almost ten minutes late and frowned.

“Ha! Pay up. I _told_ you he would be late.” Trent’s bounced out of his chair and once again, his uncle’s know it all attitude infused every word. John smiled grimly while digging out his wallet. He should have never taken Trent up on that bet.

“Smart ass.” John mumbled as he mentally said goodbye to the ten dollars he was handing over. Smug little shit, he thought proudly as he made a mental note to not to bet against Trent again. Well, at least when it came to Rodney.

“Yeah, that’s me.” Trent snickered just as Rodney sat down. ”Hey, Uncle Rodney, did you have a good time last night?” John winced; yeah, that was exactly what he wanted to hear about.

“Um…” John’s stomach bottomed out as Rodney blushed. It literally spread from the top of Rodney’s surprisingly sexy receding hairline, (Who would have thought that could be sexy?) all the way down his neck to below his collar. “Yeah, yeah, we had a good time.” With each word, Rodney sat up straighter and his voice became steadier. “Cameron is really nice, and oddly enough we have quite a bit in common.”

“Perfect.” John hadn’t realized he’d said it aloud or the fact that his tone he’d mentally used until Trent started to cough. Rodney threw him a look that was a confusing mix of hurt and irritation. “Uh, I didn’t mean that the way it sounded.” John quickly tried to cover his mistake but he knew he had fallen short because now Rodney had that kicked-puppy thing going. He hated that look because it made him feel lower than scum. He was the stuff that made scum go ‘ick’.

“I think we should go, Trent.” Rodney grabbed his nephew by the arm as he stood. John couldn’t think of anything to say and he sure as hell wasn’t even going to try to explain what was going on in his mind. “Now!”

“Wait.” John’s voice intermingled with Trent’s whining, “Aw, come on.” Trent threw him a quick pleading look before shutting up.

“I have to go to the bathroom.” Trent mumbled before shaking his uncle’s hand off and darting away from the table. Rodney watched him run off and slumped back down in his seat.

“Rodney, please…”

“John, how could you…”

“I didn’t mean…” Rodney kept right on talking, never pausing to listen to him.

“I thought you said you didn’t mind.” Rodney leaned forward as he spoke. “You said you were fine with all this…me dating, that is.” For once Rodney wasn’t ranting loudly. No, his voice was low, discreet and that hurt even more for some reason John couldn’t decipher. “If, well…” Rodney stopped abruptly and sat back, his arms crossed sullenly across his chest.

Trent came bounding back to the table, his voice sliding in neatly to interrupt whatever Rodney planning on saying. “Hey, Mike and Dan are here. Do you think I can head over to the skate park with them? Cool, thanks! I’ll be home by five.”

John felt as pole-axed as Rodney looked. Hurricane Trent had just struck.

“So, I guess that means we are on our own?” John watched Trent walk away as he spoke. Maybe Rodney would stay and he could find something, anything, to say.

Rodney calmly slid his chair back and stood. “No, that leaves you on your own. I'm going home.” Rodney quickly turned around before John could say another word.

One word. One stupid misspoken word and now he was sitting by himself watching the most important, albeit confusing, person in his life drive away. He was so fucking stupid. He had to fix this now, before he chickened out.

Rodney pulled into his driveway, cursed and slammed his car door shut only to have it bounce open again. He looked down, viciously yanked the seatbelt out of the way, and slammed the door again. This time it was smart enough to stay shut.

“God, how could I have been such an idiot? Best friend…” Rodney snorted as his voice trailed off. He slammed the door behind him only to be stopped short by something he’d never expected.

John…was in his house. John was in his house and sitting on the couch.

“How????” He sputtered. “John, how lovely to see you so soon, please have a seat. Make yourself comfortable. Would you like some coffee and biscuits?” Rodney watched John fidget and wince at the sarcasm dripping off every word. “How did you get here before me, let alone in my house?” Rodney threw his keys down on the counter. He couldn’t decide if he wanted to hit the other man or just call the cops. Sure, he might be over reacting but…

“I know a short cut and Trent showed me where the spare key was awhile ago.” John shrugged.

“That’s wonderful. Now leave.” God, he really didn’t need this.

“Aw for fuck’s sake, Rodney, will you just sit down, shut up for once, and let me explain?” John sounded tired, and irritated. “Please?”

Rodney closed his mouth, restraining the biting retort he’d been about to say. “Fine!” He looked around before sitting in the chair furthest away from John. Sitting back Rodney waited for John to begin, except he didn’t. He’d leaned forward, rested his arms on his knees, and just stared at his hands for what seemed like forever.

John then finally lurched to his feet and started pacing the room, mumbling to himself. He was dragging one hand through his hair and the other was resting on the back of his neck.

“You confuse me.” John blurted out.

“What do you mean? I confuse you?” Rodney felt like the confused one now. “How the hell do I confuse you and what does that have to do with you being an asshat?”

“I just…”John turned toward him with a helpless look as he sighed so heavily his body seemed to shake. Rodney didn’t know what to do, or say, but John’s behavior was not only cooling his anger, it was worrying him. He walked over to John and placed a comforting hand on his friend’s shoulder. He didn’t know what else to do. How could he when he didn’t know what was wrong?

“I was, no, am ... jealous.” John’s voice was almost a whisper.

Rodney shook his head. Now he was really confused. “Jealous?”

John looked like a deer who had suddenly been frozen by oncoming headlights. His mouth was slightly open and his tongue darted out to wet his lips. “Rodney, I…”

“Look, John, just spit out. I am not a patient man, as you well know.”

“I don’t want you to go out with Cameron.” His hand slid down John’s arm as he stepped backwards.

“You said you didn’t mind watching Trent.”

“That isn’t what I meant!” John yanked his arm away and smacked his hand against the wall. “This isn’t about Trent.” John sagged against the wall, seemingly drained. ”Hey, you're supposed to be a genius. Why don’t you figure it out, ‘cause I could use a little help here.”

“Alright.” Rodney was at a total loss. He had absolutely no clue what was going on or what was wrong with John. He wanted to find out, though. “But I’m not sure what I'm supposed to figure out. I’m not good at this communicating thing. I told you that when we first met.”

“Yeah, you did.” John was quiet for another moment. “I like you Rodney. More than I should. And I don’t know what to do with that or how to deal with it.”

Rodney searched for something to say, but stunned was an inadequate description for what he was feeling. This was what he wanted but John seemed so unhappy.

Each passing second had John’s complexion going progressively paler. He swayed for a moment before running to the door. “I need to go.”

“John, wait…” Rodney rushed to follow him but it was too late. John was tearing out of the driveway so quickly you’d think the hounds of hell were chasing him. Rodney took a deep breath as he leaned against the door jam. What the hell was he supposed to do now?

 


	9. A Different Sort of Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Rodney’s sister dies, he finds himself the reluctant guardian to his thirteen-year-old nephew, Trent. Rodney is at a loss but tries his best, only to have his nephew constantly getting into trouble in school. John Sheppard is a math teacher at Trent’s new school, and meets Rodney at a parent teacher conference. Together the two men learn more about themselves, parenthood, and unconditional love than they ever expected.

John had always known what he wanted. His earliest memory was a dream about it. Flying. He dreamed in color with super sonic speed. He dreamed of Tomcats Hornets, Black hawks, and Apaches. Whither it had rotors or wings it was a repeat visitor in his nighttime fantasies. School was a cakewalk, he excelled academically, in sports, and sometimes John wondered if he didn’t lead a charmed life. He’d always thought his life was perfect.

Thinking that had been his first mistake. When his senior year hit things changed rapidly. Seemingly, overnight John lost his mother to cancer; his father decided the end all and be all of life was the contents of his current bottle and he met Jessica Miller.

Jessica Miller. She frustrated, irritated, and attracted him like no one he had ever met before. She was beautiful and when she laughed the world stopped to listen and find out why, just to make sure it happened again. He tumbled into love with her so quickly and fiercely that he couldn’t think of anything else. Weeks went by and he found himself chasing a girl for the first time. She ran hot and cold, stood him up once and when she finally agreed to a date he’d felt like a god.

That night was when he realized his dream was already changing. Now, Jess was in his dreams and sometimes, they didn’t involve flying anymore. A test or two during college had shown he was smarter than he’d let on and suddenly he was a math genius. He had a challenging job he loved, almost as much as he had loved the dreams of flying and he had Jess then later Michael too.

He’d had a perfect life, it fell apart then he met the perfect girl and his life was once again perfect. He met her family and they became his family too. Except it hadn’t been perfect and there was no happily ever after to his story.

Michael died, Jess left him and everyone else behind as she pulled the walls down around her effectively shutting everything but her own pain out. John had dealt with the funeral alone, his wife had been too distraught and her parents, Phillip and Carol, had been busy comforting her. They’d all shown up the day of the funeral but that night Jess packed her bags and went home with her parents. He’d talked to Phillip frequently, Carol too for that matter, but Jess had refused to speak to him ever again.

Silent and pale she had stood firm in her resolve to make him suffer for Michael’s death. She had taken her love away, her laughter had fled, and John had never seen her smile again. The divorce papers she’d sent him a mere three weeks after the funeral had been all the proof he needed. The Jessica he married died the same day, the same minute, the same second their son had. He hadn’t buried her until much later but by than it hadn’t mattered it had become a wound that refused to heal.

John had resigned himself to numbness when he’d met Trent. Something about the teen had grabbed him and forced him to take notice. It wasn’t as if he fought it either, no instead done everything he could to help it along. Rodney was Dr. Frankenstein to his monster. Everything the scientist did was like a jolt of raw electricity pumping through his veins pushing aside all the cobwebs and forcing him to live again. To feel again.

But the question was, the question that had him running was in turns simple, complex and life altering. Why did he feel this way about Rodney and was it gratitude or is it something else entirely? The thought that it is something else terrified him on several levels. The foremost being Rodney’s gender, not that he was a homophobe, which was not the case at all, it was just different when it was his sexual identity suffering a crisis, and if he was going to have one why now when he was on the backside of his thirties and not in his early twenties?

Turning the corner John realized he’d driven the entire way to his in-laws house on autopilot. That knowledge staggered him because ever since Michael had died he’d been very careful when it came to driving. Hell, he’d had a hard time driving period for several months after the accident. God, he was so fucked up. John pulled into to the driveway and parked his car. He hadn’t called to let them know he was coming. He wasn’t even sure they were home. John wasn’t even sure what he was going to say to them. He just knew he needed somewhere to go and to someone who knew him to talk too, to help him sort all this out.

John took a deep breath, his chest felt tight and his throat burned. He leaned over to snag his bag from the passenger seat when Carol opened the door. “John, why are you still standing in the driveway instead of hugging me?” Her smile was bright and it chased away the chill that had sunk into his bones. Carol looked nothing like Jess. She was tall, lithe, and blonde. You would ever know she was in her late fifties. She looked as young as he did.

He felt her love for him even from where he was standing and it soothed some of the anguish he felt. “You know me, I was just trying to think of the perfect way to ask you to run away me, as always.” He quickly walked over to her and hugged her even as she let out a soft joyous laugh. He brushed aside the small twinge of guilt he still felt for not calling Rodney because this was exactly where he needed to be right now.

“Just drop your bags sweetie, you can take them upstairs later.” Carol looked John over carefully as she spoke. His face was pale and she could tell something was wrong. She knew John as well as she had known her daughter. “You look like you need coffee.”

John smiled. “Oh, god, yes.”

“Good, I’ll put on a pot. Are you hungry?” She started toward the kitchen. “I have some ham left over from last night’s dinner.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to run away with me?” John followed her into the bright summer kitchen. Yellow had never been his favorite color but Carol had made this room so…perfect. Shiny copper pots hanging from a ceiling rack, a soft green counter, a white breakfast table sitting in front of a wall of windows; John loved this kitchen. It had always felt like home. He’d been sitting in this room when he’d asked Phillip if he could marry his daughter. They had been in this room when he and Jess had announced they were pregnant.

Carol turned a slapped him playfully on the shoulder. Her actions pulled him away from those thoughts. “Phillip would hunt you down like a dog and you know it. Now sit and tell me how school and the bunch of hooligans you teach are?” She watched John frown and knew she was asking the wrong questions. Okay, school was off limits. She could work with that.

“Ah…” John sat down and desperately sought an away to avoid the question. School lead to Trent; Trent led to Rodney and that was quicksand. And that, he knew he wasn’t ready to face. “So, where is the old man you won’t leave for me?”

“Oh, you know Phillip; since he retired the man practically lives on the golf course. I swear I’ll never understand what he finds so appealing about it.” She ruefully shook her head as she poured herself and John a cup of coffee. So what to talk about? “So why haven’t you been to see us lately, John?”

“Ah, can we save that for later too?” John looked out the window as he spoke.

Carol hesitated, her smile faltered for a moment. “Yeah, we can.” She set a cup of coffee down in front of his and took the seat directly across from him. “So, cards?”

“Heh, yeah, that’ll work.”

 

 

Rodney sat in John’s driveway. The house was dark, John’s car was gone and no one knew where he had gone. A dark, cold thread of panic weaved a path through him. He was helpless. John was gone, he’d hadn’t had a chance to say a word and now…Rodney shook his fear off. He had friends who could find out _anything_. John had twenty-four hours than Rodney was cracking out the big guns.


	10. A Different Sort of Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Rodney’s sister dies, he finds himself the reluctant guardian to his thirteen-year-old nephew, Trent. Rodney is at a loss but tries his best, only to have his nephew constantly getting into trouble in school. John Sheppard is a math teacher at Trent’s new school, and meets Rodney at a parent teacher conference. Together the two men learn more about themselves, parenthood, and unconditional love than they ever expected.

Twenty-four hours. He had promised himself he would wait twenty-four hours. Now, Rodney was nervous, stressed and didn’t want to think of anything even remotely concerning John. Except, as he looked around his living room he saw that the clutter belonging to Trent and himself also contained several of John’s belongings. John had snuck into every facet of his life except work, and that was the sole reason Rodney headed into his office.

He didn’t truly expect to accomplish anything; hell, hadn’t even expected to be able to focus. But it was work. It had been, until Trent and John, his life. Every moment, waking and sleeping, had been consumed by it. More and more Rodney had found himself able to turn the computer off at the end of his work day because of his nephew and friend.

Rodney had forgotten how easy it was to escape into the equations, schematics and his theory. He absent mindedly took a sip of coffee that Trent had set next to him, not even acknowledging the teen’s presence, because in truth he didn’t notice the young man. All he could see was the series of mistakes, mistakes he had made.

“Oh, my God!” Rodney started typing furiously, muttering, cursing while being appalled at the mistakes he’d made in the last few weeks. A first year grad student could have done better.

Pounding away at his key board Rodney re-worked his calculations and he was so close, closer than he’d ever been. He could taste it.

Trent watched his uncle working like a man possessed. He’d been in his office for twelve hours, only leaving his desk twice to use the bathroom. He drank the coffee Trent had made and left for him but he didn’t touch the food and didn’t say a single word.

Sam, Jack, Daniel…they had all mentioned more than once how much his uncle had changed since moving here. His uncle had even joked around about it too, but the man in his uncle’s office didn’t even come close to the one he had heard about.

His uncle’s behavior scared him; it clawed and scraped away his carefully constructed new life. Fear he couldn’t put a name to griped him; it warred with the knowledge that this might somehow be his fault. He’d tried to push his uncle and John together. He'd pushed and now everything was falling apart.

 

He didn’t know what to do, so Trent went to his room and dug out the emergency number John had given him, unfolded it and debated whether or not to use it. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He knew his uncle would be pissed but John was _his_ friend too, even so his hand shook as he grabbed his cell and slowly dialed, but before Trent could press send his uncle started shouting.

“Yes! Oh my fucking God, I did it!” Rodney was dancing around the room and laughing like a loon. Trent panicked. For a moment his uncle seemed to have lost it, especially when his uncle grabbed him by the shoulders and tried to force him into dancing too.

“Ahh…Uncle Rodney?”

“Shit, I need to call Sam. I need to call Jack, Hammond…hell, I need to call everyone.” Rodney scrambled to the phone and all Trent could hear was mumbling. Unsure of what to do he wandered back to his room and stared at his phone. Maybe he should still try to call John.

“No, Sam, now!” Rodney was tossing his papers into his briefcase, saving, backing up and closing down his two computers all at the same time.

“Rodney…I’m on vacation…”

“Sam, it's your choice. I'm going to open the gate and if you don’t want to be there, then that's your issue.” Rodney hung up. Sometimes he couldn’t stand that woman. “Trent, pack a bag. You’re coming to the mountain with me.”

“I thought it was top secret. I mean, what am I going to do, sit in the waiting room all night? No, thank you.”

Rodney closed his office door and stepped into his nephew’s room. “Trent, please, this is HUGE. I need you to just go with me on this and everyone is going to be at the base, so you have to come.” Rodney was vibrating with excitement. He felt like he was about to go nuclear.

Trent leaned back in his chair. He had a bad feeling about all of this. “What about John? Call him.” He watched his uncle stagger back. He suddenly felt small and petty. “I’m sorry…”

“Never mind, it isn’t important right now. I can’t call him and even if I could I don’t know if I want to. Besides, I want you with me. This is one of the biggest, if not the biggest day of my life.” Rodney put his hand on his nephew’s shoulder. “Please?”

“Yeah, all right.” He pushed his body out of the chair, grabbed his bag and started tossing clothes in it. Trent bit his lip and blinked back the tears that burned behind his eyes. Somehow he knew this was changing everything. It was changing and he had just become used to this life.

~*~

Philip laughed as John told them another story about Trent. “He sounds like a wonderful boy.” John had been with them for an entire day and he still hadn’t said what had brought him there. Philip was convinced it had to do with the boy he kept talking about, but he couldn’t get a bead on what the trouble was.

“Would you boys like more pie and coffee before I do the dishes?” Carol peered around the dining room door as she asked.

John groaned dramatically. “If I eat another bite, I'll explode.”

He watched Carol’s face brighten. “Oh, Johnny, it's so good to have you here with us again.” She closed the door, and not long after that John could hear her turning on the water and the clanking of dishes.

“Checkers or Chess?” Philip asked casually. He was waiting for an opportunity to pry. It was already Sunday and John hadn’t mentioned leaving, but he knew his ‘son’ wouldn’t stay away from his school for too long.

“Ah…” John pondered for a moment. “Checkers.”

Philip rose from his chair and patted the table. “I don’t know why I offered you a choice. You always win either way. Come on, let’s see if I can break that losing streak of mine.”

“Yeah, cause that’ll happen.” John grinned smugly as he followed his father-in-law toward the den.

Philip took a sip of his coffee as he waited for John to make a move. They’d been playing for over a half hour and he was tired of waiting for John to say something, so it seemed he had no choice. “John, it isn’t that I am unhappy to see you, but why _are_ you here?” John looked up at him, his eyes dark and unreadable. “You haven’t called or stopped by in months.” Philip set his cup down and leaned forward. “Son, tell me what’s wrong.” He laid his hand on John’s arm; a trickle of fear ran through him when he felt his son-in-law’s arm trembling.

John jerked back, his face pale, Philip watched his chest heave and wondered if John wasn’t going to be sick. “I...” John ran a hand threw his hair, stood and went to the window. He was quiet for so long that Philip thought he would have to re-ask the question.

“Where does gratitude end and affection begin?” He leaned his forehead against the cool window. “Do you know? Because I don’t.”

“John? I don’t…” Philip was confused.

“What I mean is…” John broke off. He didn’t know what he meant. He turned around and looked into the concerned face of the man who was more of a father to him than his own. “With Jess it was easy. I knew in an instant that she was it. I knew. No second guessing, no worrying, nothing. I was positive from the moment I met her that she was who I was going to spend my life with.”

Philip felt his heart breaking. “Son, it isn’t always that way.” He shook his head. “When I met Carol I thought she was uptight, prissy and well, a bitch.” Philip smiled with the memory of his and his wife’s first meeting. “But there she was everyday and one day I realized I was in love with her and I wasn’t even sure I liked her.”

John laughed a little too loud. “No, no that isn’t what I mean.” He shook his head again. “I met someone and…Christ, I don’t know.” How do you tell your father-in-law you think you might be gay? “We are friends, the best. And there is Trent, he is this wonderful kid and I adore him but…how do I know? Because I might be, no I think I am in love.”

“There is nothing wrong with that, John. You are allowed to have a life.”

“You still don’t get it.” John laughed a slightly hysterical laugh that had Philip on edge. “I think I'm in love with the kid’s uncle.” John sagged and sunk into a near by chair after he said it.

“Oh.” Philip kept his tone neutral.

“Yeah, oh.” John felt raw and exposed. He wanted nothing more than to slink away and lick his wounds.

“You're good friends?” Philip’s voice broke the heavy silence.

“Yeah.”

“How…does he feel the same?”

“Rodney is openly gay.” John’s voice sounded flat even to his own ears.

“No, does he feel the same about you?”

John’s head snapped up. “I think so.”

“Does he make you happy? Do you laugh, do you smile?” Philip was trying, and God he hoped he was getting this right. There was nothing wrong with what John wanted, he just…well, he was an old man and out of his element.

“He does.” John smiled, “They both do.”

“I'm an old man, son. I have an old man’s ideas and thoughts most of the time, but some how I don’t think love can ever be wrong. You deserve to be happy and if this man makes you happy then I don’t think there is anything wrong with that.”

“You don’t?” Philip smiled at the expression on his ‘son’s’ face.

“No, I don’t and Carol will tell you the same thing.”

Relief flooded through him and suddenly he could breathe. He could feel his lip shake and his eyes were burning. “Right, okay.” John nodded and he swiftly stood, walked over to the older man he held in such esteem and hugged him.

Philip patted the younger man before stepping back. “So, we will get to meet your men soon, right?”

“Absolutely.” John smiled and before he could finish his cell rang. He looked at the number, saw it was unfamiliar and debated a moment before answering it.

“Hello?” John back toward the window. “Trent? Slow down…what? No, I'm on my way.”

“Something wrong, son?” Philip didn’t like the look on John’s face. “They aren’t hurt are they?”

“No, no, it’s nothing like that but I have to go.” He hugged his father-in-law again. “I’ll call you soon, I promise.”

“See that you do.” But Philip’s words were barely heard because John was half way to the door and his mind was already on what Trent had said to him.  



	11. A Different Sort of Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Rodney’s sister dies, he finds himself the reluctant guardian to his thirteen-year-old nephew, Trent. Rodney is at a loss but tries his best, only to have his nephew constantly getting into trouble in school. John Sheppard is a math teacher at Trent’s new school, and meets Rodney at a parent teacher conference. Together the two men learn more about themselves, parenthood, and unconditional love than they ever expected.

Trent watched all the people chattering away excitedly. It had been easy enough to ‘forget’ his book bag and have someone escort him to the surface. Calling John made him feel better, especially with all the talk of other worlds, gates, wormholes and he was pretty sure it was all top secret but no one even noticed he was alive. He’d known his uncle was a genius. His mother had constantly told him that and he had seen the evidence several times. Except this was way beyond genius. This was freaking science fiction come to life and his uncle was the man making it happen. Sam was smart, but his uncle was talking circles around her, several other so called geniuses, and Trent had lost the thread of the conversation ten formulas back. So much for thinking he was as smart as his uncle.

Things had dissolved into shouting and finally General Hammond had put an end to it. “Dr. Mckay are you positive this is right?” 

Rodney bounced a bit and smiled smugly. “I wouldn’t have called you here in the middle of the night, wait make that way to early on a Sunday morning, if I just ‘thought’ it might work. This is it. This is the way to charge the ZPM they depleted from the outpost. Now there will be one on our end and one on theirs; which we now know how to recharge. This is how we…” Rodney stopped for a moment and pushed back the fleeting feeling of loss and resentment. “This is how you get to Atlantis.” 

Suddenly everyone started talking at once and Trent could only catch snippets of conversation, mostly from Jack ad Daniel who were standing closest to him. 

“We need Rodney on this. He has to go. You and I both know he wants to.”

“Jack, there is no way. He can’t leave Trent and I seriously don’t think he would consider taking a teenager to another galaxy. Not to mention getting approval for it.”

Trent leaned back in his chair. He didn’t want to hear this. He didn’t need to hear this because now he knew what his uncle had given up to take him. He fled the room, asked the nearest soldier he could find and raced to the bathroom before he puked all over the floor. His knees protest the sudden connection with the cold cement as he retched and retched until there as nothing left but bile. Cold and clammy, Trent scooted over until his back and head rested against the cool wall, wishing for all the world that his parents were still alive so he'd never had to go through this. Trent then rose on shaky legs and for the first time in his life thought about running away.

 

John had no idea what was going on. Trent hadn’t been forth coming over the phone but the teen’s panic and fear were easy enough to hear in his voice. Rodney had figured out what he was working on, they were at the base and how the hell was he supposed to get onto the base? He knew what ever Rodney’s project was it was big, and that even as excited as he was about it, it also made him sad. John felt he was racing toward a finish line but he didn’t know the deadline or even the route. He just knew he had to get to Rodney and tell him how he felt. Yeah, cause that would be so easy after running out yesterday. 

John pulled up to the gate and waited well the officer on duty walked over to him. “I need your name, I.D and who you have an appointment with.”

“Doctor Jonathan Sheppard and I’m here to see Doctor Rodney McKay,” John fumbled with his wallet as he spoke. He handed over his license after digging it out. There was no way he could bluff his way in.

“Do you have an appointment with him, sir?” 

“Ah, no, but if you call him I'm sure he will see me." 

“I'm sorry, sir, that isn’t possible. Come back with an appointment,” He handed John his license back and indicated where he was to turn around. 

“Who do I call to make an appointment?” John was frustrated; he needed to see Rodney now. 

The soldier frowned at him before handing him a card. “I doubt you will get an appointment easily or quickly, but here is the number anyways.”

John took the card and turned around. He pulled out of the lot when a thought struck him. Rodney always had his cell on him. John just hoped that he could get him to answer the damn phone. But if he didn't, John decided that he'd call Trent because he knew the young man sure as hell would. John reached in his pocket to pull out his cell and came up empty. Unbuckling his seat belt, he grabbed his bag from where he'd tossed and and looked through it. He then searched under the seats and in the back before letting out a frustrated yell. Sitting back down, he turned his car and turned headed back toward his house. It would take him a half hour to get home and get his phone. He just hoped he wouldn’t be too late. 

 

Sam was looking over Rodney’s work and it was pissing him off. What was he a grad student handing in a thesis? No he wasn’t, hell had had more degrees than Sam and had been working on this project before she had even heard about it.

“Rodney, this will never work.” Sam pointed out a section of his equation, “It isn’t even feasible. There is no possible way for this to be done.”

“Sam, I think you need to wait a few more moments.” General Hammond said calmly. He knew if he didn’t stop them now they would argue this out till the end of time. “Dr. Zelenka’s plane is running late and he has been working with Rodney on this project forever. I personally want his opinion on this before we make a decision.”

Sam frowned. “When is he supposed to arrive?”

Hammond looked at his watch. “Soon, I sent for him a few days ago at Rodney’s request.” 

Sam frowned. “I need some coffee.” She took a copy of the papers with her and headed toward the commissary. 

Jack shook his head and nudged Daniel. “Grab McKay, we’ll run my idea past him before his friend gets here and before you say anything I already have approval for Trent.” Jack deliberately didn’t look at Daniel even though he could feel his lover’s blue eyes narrowing in the silence. 

Daniel leaned closer. “Is there something you want to tell me?” Daniel tossed a glance back toward Rodney, Sam and Hammond. Sam had a stack of papers in her hand and wandered off and Daniel couldn’t help but wonder what Hammond had done to stop their bickering so quickly. “Jack?” 

“Look, I just found out so you can’t be pissed at me for not telling you.” Jack was playing this for all it was worth. He knew how badly Daniel wanted this.

“Pissed? Ok, now I really need to know.” Daniel worried his lower lip as he waited.

“Hammond said the President would only approve the Atlantis project if I headed the military end of the operation, so we’re going to Atlantis. I also had Trent pre-approved incase Rodney changes his mind about heading up the Science teams.”

Excitement thrummed through Daniel he wanted to go to Atlantis, and he wanted it so badly he could taste it, but he also wanted the life he and Jack had been planning since Jack had decided to retire. Jack leaned closer to him and spoke quietly enough for only him to hear. “Don’t worry about us; I made sure it wouldn’t be an issue.” Daniel nodded patiently despite the need to know the details. 

“I’ll go get him, but I still don’t think he’ll take Trent.” Daniel put his hands in his pocket and walked over toward his friend. He couldn’t quite place his finger on it but everything about Rodney’s behavior seemed off, for that matter so was Trent’s.

Rodney jumped as Daniel tapped him on the shoulder. “Jack wants to talk to you.” He knew what was coming, he knew it and now everything was moving so quickly, it was terrible and perfect all at the same time.


	12. A Different Sort of Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Rodney’s sister dies, he finds himself the reluctant guardian to his thirteen-year-old nephew, Trent. Rodney is at a loss but tries his best, only to have his nephew constantly getting into trouble in school. John Sheppard is a math teacher at Trent’s new school, and meets Rodney at a parent teacher conference. Together the two men learn more about themselves, parenthood, and unconditional love than they ever expected.

John cursed his stupidity and Rodney’s stubbornness, he cursed the speed limit but mostly he cursed the little white haired women who insisted ongoing ten miles an hour in a forty-five when he couldn’t pass her. John could feel each second passing with the pounding of his heart, the sense of urgency; the breathless almost mind numbing need was over powering.

He knew Rodney. The man was stubborn, brilliant and John knew that whatever Trent had called him about, was what Rodney had been working so furiously on. Sometimes, when he showed up early, he’d catch Rodney in his office and he would see the rapid display of emotions play across the other man’s face; longing, sadness, desire, and pride. More then once Rodney had said it was his life’s work.

Elation filled him as he turned down his street and quickly reached his house. It had taken almost forty-five minutes instead of the usual thirty. John slammed his car door and fumbled with his keys, He hoped he could find the right words to make Rodney understand why he left and more importantly that he understood what he wanted now. He was tired of running from what he wanted, tired of being afraid of the changes he felt inside him.

John rushed into the house almost stumbling to the phone and quickly dialed Rodney’s cell. It went immediately to voice mail. “Fuck” John restrained himself from throwing the phone, as if it would have been that easy. He dialed the office number Rodney had given him after mumbling something about there being blood and a possible apocalypse before using it, which as far as John was concerned this met those conditions.

“This had better be good because you are wasting my time; a small percentage of my brain that is dedicated to life altering calculations has now been diverted to talk to you so thirty seconds and counting.” Rodney barked into the phone. If he had even wavered for a second the sound of Rodney’s voice in that second confirmed it. He was in love with the man.

John took a deep breath. “I think it will take more then thirty seconds to explain where I was and why I went.” John crossed his fingers and prayed to a god he wasn’t sure he believed in while he waited for Rodney’s response. He heard nothing but silence and then the sharp sound of the phone being slammed down.

He sank to the arm of the couch stunned; he’d expected a rant or that he would have to beg, but not this. His mind raced for other options. He couldn’t go to the base. He could call Trent but what was a teenager going to do, granted Trent wasn’t a normal teen but he was and Rodney didn’t have to listen to his nephew. The ideas just weren’t coming; there was no Hail Mary, nothing. He’d lost.

Rodney’s hand hovered over the phone for a moment, his mind racing with questions and answers. Did he want to go to Atlantis? That was a no brainer even Sam could figure that out. Trent could come, which made it able for him to go. No, allowed him to go, he made it able for every one to go. Did he want John? Hell yes! Who wouldn’t? Did he want to know why John left? What if the reason was good enough to stay? Was John worth giving up Atlantis for? Trent was, but he is family and even that killed him.

“What is problem?” Zelenka had arrived a half hour ago and Rodney was glad to see his squirrelly wild haired friend. “This is good.” Radek pointed to the calculations on Rodney’s screen. “So what is problem? The phone call, perhaps?” Zelenka frowned he had heard all about this John person from Rodney’s nephew five seconds after they’d met. The boy was smart, and too much like his uncle for his own health. If he followed in his uncle’s footsteps there would be many, many (so-called) scientists plotting his death. But then, Rodney always found that amusing. Now this John, he seemed interesting, especially since he could distract Rodney from his true love: work.

Rodney waved Radek away. “No the call is _not_ bothering me. If he had been listening to the conversation he would have realized he was snarling and not the usual ‘you’re an idiot how did you ever get to be called a scientist’ snarl. This was a ‘back the fuck off this topic is closed, top secret and above your pay grade’ snarl. Zelenka smiled. He was going to like John.

“So then work. There is little time left.” He smiled that ‘cat that ate the canary’ smile. “I am packed but you are not.” This was almost too easy. “I finish here, you go home to pack. Leave Trent with me. He tells better jokes then you.”

“Fine, whatever. You’re being annoying anyways, and have you brushed your teeth at all since I saw you last?” Rodney stood ranted all the way to the door. “Don’t worry I’ll buy you a brush and several tubes of tooth paste before I get back.”

He waited until Rodney was down the hall before he sat and laughed. Sometimes Rodney was too easy, especially for someone who was a genius.

Rodney mentally categorized the things he needed to pack verses the amount of space he was allowed. The sense of satisfaction, the pure unadulterated knowledge he was right and had proven it when no one else had believed, especially not Sam, that he could do it. For once everyone knew he was as smart as he knew himself to be. He looked up when he turned the corner and had unintentionally driven himself to John’s house. It seemed his unasked questions wanted answers.

Rodney looked at the house, twilight was rapidly approaching and by now John had lights on through out the house. Fumbling with his keys he searched till he found the one John had given him. One that he hadn’t used till now; he could never bring himself to use it on the off chance he would walk in on something he would never be able to forget or forgive despite the fact that they were only friends.

Slowly his hand hovered over the door knob, while his heart contracted painfully in his chest. John was sitting on the floor, his back against the arm of the couch and from the way his shirt had bunched up he had slid there. He’d pulled his knees against his chest and rested his head on the showing nothing but a shock of messy hair and the phone in a finger whitening grip.

“You hung up on me.” John’s voice was soft but Rodney winced as if he’d shouted.

“You left. So I think we are about even.” Rodney shut the door and looked at the keys he was holding.

John snorted. “We sound like half the kids at my school right now and this conversation has barely begun.” Rodney walked over to him and sat down, John automatically moved over so they could both lean against the couch.

He didn’t like questions he didn’t know the answer to, so he had no choice but to ask. The problem was that emotions and talking were never his forte, especially when mixed. The silence blanketed the room weighing heavily around them. Rodney waited for a moment before realized he would have to speak first.

“So...” Rodney felt like a five year old getting ready to beg for candy, “Why did you leave?”

“I had too.” John started to say something else but Rodney cut him off.

“You had too? That’s just perfect. You tell me you care about me more then you should and you run away.”

John turned toward him, frustration suffused his expression. “Are you going to let me talk or just sit there and bitch?”

Rodney frowned. “Fine, explain.” He felt a twinge of guilt as John ran a hand over his obviously tired face.

“When... I’ve never loved anyone other then Jessica. In fact, after I met her I never even looked at another woman, I never felt anything for anyone other then her. Except...” John paused and took a deep breath. “You, the way you are, our friendship...everything confuses me. I care about you; you make me feel things I haven’t felt since I lost her, and some things I have never felt before.” John let out a semi-hysterical laugh. “There is this hope building inside me, making me think I can have things I haven’t thought about since Michael died. I needed to think, I needed to get away, even if it was just a few days, to get a handle on what I wanted. To figure out if this…” he waved his hand between them, “was something real or just me becoming aware that I could have a life again.” John looked at him; his face was pale in the darkened room.

Rodney could see the faint purple smudges of exhaustion under his eyes. Sitting side by side made it easy for Rodney to feel the slight tremors running through his friend.

He didn’t want to know the answer anymore. In fact, Rodney had never felt more like a coward in his entire life, except he had to know. He closed his eyes and begged for what he wanted to a God he didn’t really believe in, but if he was mistaken and there was one, he needed all the help he could get. “What…” Rodney cleared his throat, “What did you decide?”

John looked at him cautiously. “That this is something more then friendship. That the things I want scare the shit out of me but running away from them scares me too.” John reached down and held his hand, “I don’t want to spend the rest of my life regretting not trying to figure what all this is out. I know there are a lot of things I am not even close to being able to handle yet…”

Rodney turned toward him. “Cause I expected to jump in bed and fuck you six ways to Sunday right now.” He laughed slightly hoping to put John at easy but it was shaky, nervous and not reassuring in the least. “John, I want you anyway I can have you.”

A ghost of a smile danced across John’s face. “Yeah?” Relief settled his nerves and he felt his stomach slide back to where is belonged. “Cool. Um…” John bit his lip and took a deep breath before leaning forward and resting their foreheads against one another... John laughed as their noses bumped and they moved their heads in the same direction to try to make it work before it happened. Rodney stopped breathing, thinking, everything when their lips met in a more then slightly chaste, gentle, seriously awkward kiss. “Okay that went well.”

“Hey, for your first kiss I say you did just fine.” Rodney smiled and as he did he remembered what his original goal was before he showed up on John’s door step. “Fuck.” Rodney pushed him self off the floor and started pacing. He didn’t see the worried or confused expression on John’s face as conflict flooded his mind. This was what he wanted, but he wanted Atlantis too. He felt his chest tighten and his throat closing off. He turned around quickly.

“John…” His chest heaved as he fought for each breath.

John moved closer to him and pushed him down on the couch. “What’d I do wrong?”

“No, No, not you. Me. I did it. It took years and fuck I thought I couldn’t go because of Trent and then they said I could take him and we fought, so I said I would go but now I want to and I want to stay…”

“Rodney, breathe, slow deep breaths. I can’t understand what you’re saying and you’re starting to worry me.” John tried to calm down, but fear crept through him.

“This is so top fucking secret that…you can’t say anything. If they find out I said anything, I made this happen but…I found it. I found Atlantis.”

“Atlantis?” Okay, so he might possible be in love with a crazy man. Figures.

“I’m not insane. I can’t explain everything, except the asteroid storm in the Antarctic had to do with where I work and Atlantis.” Rodney stood and paced the room again. “They want me to go. I want to go.” He looked at John; he knew everything he felt was visible on his face. “And I want to stay.”

“Rodney, you have to go.” He couldn’t believe what he was saying. “If you don’t…” Christ, he felt like crying. He’d figured everything out too late. “If you stay for me you’ll end up hating me, everything we build. I…” he felt himself choke on the words. “I don’t want that to happen so go.” John felt his heart clench and in the back of his mind he wondered if this is what heart attacks felt like and if they were breaking already maybe it wouldn’t be a bad thing.

“It isn’t forever.” Rodney walked toward him; he stood so close they were almost touching. “I only agreed to go a year because of Trent. I didn’t want him to stay in a place where there wouldn’t be any of his peers.” Rodney tried to drive the newly broken look from John’s face.

“A year?” Rodney nodded. John took a deep breath he could do a year; he could do two as long as Rodney came back. “So it’ll be a long distance relationship is what you’re saying.”

Laughter spilled through out the room as the mood instantly lightened. “I can write, well, e-mail. So can Trent.”

“How will that work? He disappears for a year? What will that do to his transcripts, his education? Sure Atlantis will be, yeah I can’t even image a word to describe how it will be, but how will is absence be explained.” John had an idea, an idea where he wouldn’t lose Rodney and Trent at the same time.

“Ok, what are you thinking?” John wasn’t exactly being subtle.

“Let him stay with me.”

“So, you want to hold him hostage? You know you’re charms and incredible body is more then enough to make me come home.”

“No, you said you’ll be back and I trust you. You don’t lie, Rodney, you never have. But you’ll be somewhere he doesn’t have family, not that he doesn’t have any other then you, but if something happens I want to be there for him and I want him to be here for me.” John’s solemn tone cut through Rodney, he’d never thought of that possibility. For all his genius he never thought he would go to Atlantis and possibly not come home.

Rodney reached out and hesitantly hugged John; he didn’t want him to feel trapped. John pulled him closer and he rested his head against him. “Trent can stay if he wants too.”

He felt John nod, “I have to make a call so you can come on the base and sign some papers if he wants to.”

“Alright.” Suddenly everything felt wrong again but he needed to do this. He wanted to do this, except he was leaving a huge part of him behind.

Hours later; Trent, Jack and Daniel greeted them as they arrived on the base, then went down one floor and into a conference room.

“Alright then.” Jack sat down and shuffled some papers. “McKay you owe me. I hate paperwork, plus Hammond is bitching about having to call the president and waking him up. They are not happy men.”

“Jack.” Daniel frowned at him. “Play nice.”

Rodney tried not to laugh as John looked back and forth between the two of them, it was hard to get used to the way Daniel handled his lover.

“So Trent wants to stay, John wants to keep him and you are still going, right?” Jack frowned at him. It wasn’t really a question; Jack was making a statement that was happening. Period. Even if they wanted to change their minds.

Trent looked over at him and John. He snorted as he spoke. “Are you joking? Zelenka said there probably wouldn’t be girls there my age and that is criminal. It is cruel and unusual punishment and living with Uncle Rodney is enough of that.” Everyone started to laugh.

John grinned as Rodney proudly murmured. “Smart ass.”

“Christ, I’m glad you’re staying, you’re just like your Uncle. And God knows I’ve want to shoot him more then once.”

Daniel coughed. “We need to hurry.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” He slid a stack of papers toward John and Rodney. “Sign everywhere, play kissy face and get downstairs we leave in thirty.”

Jack grabbed Daniel by the arm and dragged him toward the door. “Jack. you are such an ass sometimes.” He leaned over and whispered something in Daniel’s ear. The scientist immediately blushed and quickly followed him out the door.

“Okay, what was that about?” John felt like he had been tossed about by a hurricane.

“They’ve been trying to get to Daniel’s office for an hour.” Trent grinned wickedly. “Something about saying good bye to it and his desk.”

“Oh.” John blushed. “His office?”

Rodney laughed. “It is the worst kept secret here. Daniel is a moaner.”

Trent burst out laughing. “Thanks Uncle Rodney, I’ll never be able to look him in the eye again.” The mood instantly sobered. “Of course I won’t see them for a year.” His voice started to crack and his face crumble. “I won’t see you either.” He pushed himself away from the table. “You have to come back, you have too.”

John had known this was coming but Rodney looked totally unprepared. Rodney was pinned to his chair, his face pale and John knew he didn’t know what to say.

He reached out to Trent. Pulling him in to a hug; it only lasted seconds before he was pushed away. “Promise me. Please.” Trent sounded broken, he had tears openly streaming down his face and it took everything John had not to join him.

Rodney pushed his chair back violently, the noise it made as it clattered to the floor sounded like a gunshot. “Trent…” He reached out and hugged his nephew. “I love you. I promise I’ll do everything I can to come home.” Rodney shook his head as Trent started to say something. “I won’t lie to you.”

Trent dragged his sleeve across his face, sniffed and nodded. “Okay, yeah okay.” His feet shifted as he looked around, it was obvious he wanted to escape.

“Go grab your stuff and say bye to Zelenka.” Trent took a deep breath and ran from the room.

“Promise me we won’t have to do this when I get back?” John looked confused. “This emotional soul searching crap. I never even talked to my shrink about how I feel. Of course she is a hack but that is beside the point. ”

John laughed for a moment. “I’ll see what I can do.” He walked over to Rodney, reached out and paused for a moment as if trying to decide what to do. In the end he took Rodney’s hand in his. “So this is where we say good bye for now, huh?”

“Ah, yeah. You can’t go down stairs. So this is it…for now.” Rodney hesitated and not for the first time reconsidered his choice. He’d never wanted and regretted something so much in his life.

“Alright, yeah.”

Looking down at their joined hands, the expression on Rodney’s face showed he was just as lost as John felt. John hadn’t felt this awkward since his first date; but then again he’d never been in a relationship that was like this. He didn’t know what to do, but he knew what he wanted to. He just had to be brave enough. He also knew Rodney wouldn’t, it would seem like pushing.

Relief and joy played across Rodney’s face as John pulled him closer. He let go of Rodney’s hand and brushed his over a muscled arm that too many people thought was soft. He hesitated again; Christ he didn’t know how to do this and suddenly it didn’t matter anymore because Rodney’s hands were in his hair guiding him down, kissing him. It wasn’t chaste, not even close, because there were lips, tongue, teeth and oh god, he couldn’t breathe.

Rodney’s chest was heaving as he pulled back a bit. “So, I think we have that kissing thing down.”

“Yeah, I think we might.” John rubbed his jaw. “I think I have whisker burn. Next time you need to shave.”

“I’ll start carrying my razor around if you do.” Rodney stepped out of his arms and moved toward the table.

“So, this time next year, right?”

“Yeah, well… I might be an hour or two late.”

John put his hands in his pockets, it was the only thing he could do to keep himself from reach out and dragging Rodney to his car. “Yeah, because that intergalactic trouble can be a bitch.”

“I’d better…” Rodney jerked his thumb toward the door.

“Go so you don’t miss your ‘flight’.”

Rodney nodded because he couldn’t say any thing and walked out the door backwards.

 

 

**Epilogue…**

 

 

John rocked nervously back on his heels. It had been one year and three months, Zelenka broke his leg just before he was supposed to leave for Atlantis to take Rodney’s place damn him and it wasn’t as if gate and broken bones were recommended.

He stood toward the back of the room, there were others milling about waiting for the gate to open too. Except they were leaving for Atlantis not waiting to see the man they were in love with but had only kissed twice and e-mailed every time the gate was opened.

Except there were so many things that were impossible to explain in an e-mail, no matter how long and detailed it was, something didn’t translate onto ‘paper’.

Rodney didn’t know that for the last four months he’d been working at the SGC; being a math genius did have its perks. Or that having Trent live with him had harder then he expected.

Trent had been impossible for the first two months. Discovered girls, more like discovered Cassie… and Christ, wasn’t Rodney going to love that fact that his nephew was ‘dating’ Sam’s daughter. He really didn’t want to explain that one, and he wasn’t sure how Rodney was going to get past the fact he hadn’t said anything the second it happened.

He also couldn’t explain how worried he was that when Rodney came back, this would fall apart.

The gate whooshed to life, and even though John had been able to see it several times, the site never ceased to awe him. The wormhole’s deceptive simplicity or its beauty that hid the most complex equations he’d ever seen.

People he didn’t know walked through the gate, smiling and dragging their carry cases behind them. Some were home for good, others on vacation. A few were retiring; life on Atlantis hadn’t been all roses. Jack and Daniel had agreed to stay on another year, at Jack’s replacement’s request no less.

John stopped think, he couldn’t even breathe as he saw Rodney step through the wormhole. John frown, Rodney was thinner and he had visible purple bruises under his eyes.

He stepped forward, but this was more awkward then he expected. Except just as he stopped moving Rodney looked right at him.

“John?” Joy and surprise chased away the tiredness from Rodney’s eyes.

“Yep.” He grinned, he suddenly felt…well like Trent looked every time he saw Cassie.

Rodney rushed toward him, dropped everything, computer case included, and hugged him tightly enough he though he might break.

“I missed you.” They said in unison and in that second John knew that even though they had a lot to figure out everything was going to be fine.


End file.
